never bloody fails!

this company offers an alarm, and free medical monitoring. Since Dad is poorly, and I don't feel good myself half the mornings, this sounded like a good idea. WRONG! It's a burglar alarm and now I'm slaved to become one of Spokane's little Cash Cows. Well the money-grabbing democrats are going to get an earfull from me next monday's city council meeting. Nobody except Spokane has this, so it's wrong by definition.....

This is SO awesome!

This bank gives you 5.03% interest on your checking account. Keep a hundred in there and get $5.03 at the end of the year. Ya gotta do a direct deposit or direct debit every month. The same one, not a new one every month, and ten debit card transactions. Gas, Restaurant, and Grocery...
...Voila! and if I can stick a thousand there, I get $50.30 that I didn't previously have.

Late Birthday Present

One of my former students got me a late Birthday Present. Probably the most well thought out one. A half-dozen Craftsman #2 Phillips Screwdrivers, a half-dozen Regular screwdrivers, also craftsman, and an odd assortment of differing pliers. I think she scored the pliers at Goodwill, and yard sales. She got the screwdrivers new either traded, or bought at Sears. She was over at my house a little over a year ago when I went on a rampage, and tracked down all my misplaced tools, and put them back in tool boxes, tool bags, the tool bucket, and various utility drawers. I have an ex-girlfriend who is just that thoughtful. she raids the goodwill stores for odd tools, and (still) presents them to me infrequently in a pail or milk crate.

Sort of like Tam playing the "If he buys me Ammo, is it serious?" thing. I know both women are sweet on me. I just don't know why! I DO own a mirror, and I'm a little absent minded.

shooters blues

I just bought a box of 44 special. Worst case scenario
I can use a kinetic puller to put the bullets into a
magnum case. I have a Ruger .44 rifle. I guess I could
cock the thing for each shot. the 44 was all they had.
I'm going to have to order bulk ammo.

no fun being a vampire nowadays....

....When the taxpayers are out for blood!

New name for the Puppy

Ra-Chester

not Rochester like the Carburetor.

not Rod-Chester like Jack Benney's combination sidekick and butler.

Ra from the smirking, pussy, fake god on Stargate -the movie.

And Chester in a graceful show of defeat on my part.

I was determined not to name the new dog after the old.

So by tossing the Ra in front, I'm acknowledging  his un-Chester ness.  

While giving into the rest of the family's desire for continuity...

Quoteable

Some people are like Slinkies: 

They don't really have a purpose in life, 

but they still bring a smile to your face 

when you push them down the stairs.

CVA Mutant teething troubles

I mentioned this rifle before.  I can shoot soft lead slugs the size of AA batteries.  I have a plaster casting mold for various bullets.  If I'm ever offered the chance to go after Big African Game, this will be the rifle I take and use.  Of course my narcoleptic hide isn't hitting the savannah, or veldt, any time soon.  

My main problem is that it uses the smallest diameter AA batteries for the mold.  I found an off-brand called "PKCELL", that makes lovely molds.  

It got me to thinking.  You ever get an aluminum flashlight that is just too small for duracell, or energizer batteries?  That's probably the reason.

I got a pound of black powder, a couple hundred slugs...  

I think I'll bag a spring bear.  And maybe a Mack truck.

joking guys!

Why is it?

I have under the castoff pile in my room.
A TRS-80 model 100 laptop computer.
Tam reviewed one in her Digital Fossils blog.
With 4 old school AA batteries, that thing would go for 2-3 hours of Pre internet era computing.
Most of which is, thankfully, covered by the Statute of Limitations.
I expect new AA batteries, that outlast D cells, would power that old beast for 5-6 hours.
Why then can I not unplug my current laptop, and go into the rest of the house for more than an hour without that post-modern lithium-nickel-hydride battery pack begging the computer to demand I plug it back in?

Is this the progress I was led to expect?

good one

Got This one from Elena Filatova's web site.
Elena is on the short list of people I'd like to meet if I win the lottery.

Scientists of one of banana republic recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium."

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 98 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 212. These 212 particles are held together by forces called morons. Morons still unexplored substance, the distinctive feature of which is large amount of pockets.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it mass will constantly increase over time, because during decay cycle, the mass of pockets of assistant neutrons, deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons on the increase and when it reaching critical concentration, the stucture undergoes a reorganization, in which some morons become a neutrons, a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes everything with which it comes into contact and it comes in reaction with everything that has electrons and not inert. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

When Gv decays, it falls into another new elements, Retiredum (Re) and Retardium (Rt) which some call Dementium (Dm)

The wikipedia article has a slightly different slant.

Two most tasteless t-shirts

I was going to hold my tongue.
But these beat any offering from t-shirt-hell all hollow!

runner up: Ni**er Please! It's the WHITE House.

tasteless t shirt of all time: Got Milk? (with pic of revolver)..
-Though I have said that Diane Feinstein makes me wish Dan White had a Speed-loader!