tastes like vinegar

For those who know me, The Laughing Locksmith has been tee-total, with some small relapses, sips here and there, for four years. Since my motivation is different, I don't feel the need for meetings and other trappings, of the celebratory abstainer. Simply put, I will never let a hypocritical state catch me vulnerable that way again.

I guess I could be considered a friend of Bill. I know him as well as anyone else I met in a bar and consider a friend.

One of my props is a handy bottle of rum. Any time I feel weak, I pull it out and stare it down. Remembering the happy times, the times I was on my knees before the porcelain god trying to throw up my toenails, the happy times I wished I remembered.

I picked up a friend recently, though he needed another drink like the ghost of Fred Astaire needed a dance lesson. I decided to poor him one from my bottle. Not like I was using it or anything.

I opened it, and son of a bitch, IT SMELLED LIKE APPLE CIDER VINEGAR!

I guess the daughter of our freeloading roomie found it. Decided it would function as well for my use with vinegar, and she could have free booze.

She and her boyfriend are no longer welcome here. If the roomie doesn't like it she can leave too.

Code Word: Screaming

I've had my share of disagreements with the supporters of the current administration.
Talk about an understatement!
Like Denis Leary and Drugs!
I've had my share, your share, your share, his share, and her share.
Most of these disagreements have taken place on this marvelous invention of Al Gore's,
The Internet.
I very rarely even used upper-case letters.
So...
How can I be screaming?

Y'see the word screaming is the new phrase for those who wish to deprive me of my first amendment right to have and express my own opinion.
Along with Astroturf, and extremist.

Look, we had our disagreements in the past.
Indeed, the Clinton Administration made me feel awfully Jewish at times.
But I hasten to emphasize.
At no point in our disagreements during that time.
Though I felt your opinion wrong headed, and possibly suicidally foolish.
Did I ever attempt to deny you the free expression of that opinion.
I never dismissed your agitating as Astroturf, artificial, manufactured, contrived, meaningless.
I never questioned the validity of your existence.
I never denied Your basic Humanity.
Based upon the fact that you held a contrary opinion.
I was raised better than that.
I was told by a Canadian Actor, playing a Fictional Starship Captain,
That the sacred document he held in his hands, applied to everyone.
Not just chiefs and kings.
The Kohms, as well as Yangs.

That Document was the US Constitution.

It applies to everyone.
Or it means nothing.

I gave you respect, played fair and decent,
when opinions and people I liked and respected ruled the land.
Are you going to do the same, or was I a sucker.
Expecting honor from a politically motivated individual.

My Blog Friend

She's actually been at this before they were called 'Blogs'.
I fear that she might discontinue our friendship over the current regime.
and I really feel that would be sad.
and somewhat unfair.
I have lost the friendship of three people, that I felt were good friends over this miserable matter.

My opinion is simple, A business while maybe not human under the law, is alive in the mind of those who run it, who deal with it.

The stock market uses the anology of bulls and bears, the bear who hibernates through harsh times. The bailouts are the equivalent of food-filled dumpsters on the side of the road, at the edge of the woods. These corporate animals have now learned a dangerous new behavior. Why forage and strive for food when some idiot just leaves it lying out?

I probably shouldn't use a wildlife anology. I could see the Obama Administration decreeing that the elderly and Republicans should be chopped up to feed the predators in our national parks.

my friend!

I have a friend who's living wild -and almost free- over in Seattle.
Like Jean Claude Van Damme, he gets into fights.
Exactly like Van Damme, he takes an unacceptable amount of damage in the process.
He's struggling with drink and depression. I'm hoping to see him soon.
Perhaps persuade him to take some time off from the life he's created for himself.

Lockerbie Bomber

http://news.aol.com/article/scotland-releases-lockerbie-bomber-abdel/449924


Am I the only one who feels like busting a cap in the ass of the Scottish Minister of Justice.
seeing I'm diabetic, hypertensive, and have high cholesterol, I should rate a compassionate early release....

Happy Belated Birthday Dad!

july 30th, he's 77 and mean as hell.
meaner, if you ask Lucifer's opinion...



The father of lies wouldn't lie about that would he?

Stupid Democrat Tricks

I just found out about Professor Gates, Sgt Crowley Snit. I don't know what's worse. A supposedly educated man acting like a whiny street slag. Or our supposed President who -of course- comes down on whitey in public for daring to even challenge a black man ever, anywhere. Now he wants to 'have a beer' with both of them once he learned that whitey was supported by the Fraternal Order of Police. Second only to the National Education Association as kingmakers in the Democratic Party. His gaffe could conceivably result in a Democratic nominee other than himself in the 2012 election. If we could get him to say something unscripted about teachers...

sick as dogs

Me and the new puppy. we ate some turkey day before yesterday. I'm just hoping that puppy and I either respond to the immodium, or have a quick death. he hates it when I try to make him use the toilet. I can't bend over to clean the floor.

My final word on Michael Jackson

Everyone. He's dead! You can't hurt his feelings, and you lessen yourselves in my eyes trying to.
He admittedly paid $30 Million dollars, rather than be pestered by a child molestation lawsuit. I personally had a problem with the prosecutor spending more time on TV, than in the courtroom. Nobody knows for sure if he's guilty. Both sides made sure of that. I also had a problem with the people who despite ample evidence of his eccentricities, still brought their kids to Neverland Ranch. I mean using your own kids as cannon fodder for a civil suit. That's really raw.

If the internet was composed of what Jack Webb referred to as "members of the human race", we could all just agree to let the guy go to his rest, and maybe enjoy his music when it played on the radio.

TV unRealism

we got this guy wound up on cop shows....

and his friends!

You guys have got to stop watching TV! I mean if you stroke out, my fat lazy ass will have to come off disability to do your jobs.

I mean, it’s not like it’s going to get done by Hollywood.

Breathe, count to 10, and switch the set to Doctor Who.

…And I better not hear any grousing about him saving the known universe in 60 minutes, or “That’s not how you overamp a fibulating gonkulator”

c'mon kids, we're talking a medium that portrayed Mary Kay LeTourneau as a hapless victim and her 12 year old lover as a sex predator.

Or how about that splendid portrayal of Randy Weaver's kids wearing Nazi uniforms.

come to think about it, there's a snap somewhere that would blast my friends chances for public office. If one cropped out the leather-jacketed "Zeyons" and the two guys in Star Trek Shirts.

Some day we'll have to discuss the Jewish Nazi Fetish...........

My Favorite Knife

I have had some lovely knives come through my life. In fact I may still bludgeon to death the schoolyard bully, and his twin brother, who stole my first real knife 40 years ago. I have a pair of Applegate Fairbairn folders. I saw the original A-F in Soldier of Fortune magazine back in the 80's, and did not think I could part with $385.00 for a knife. After all, I had a perfectly good Stainless Steel US marked Military Scout knife with Camillus 1969 imprinted on the base of the main knife blade. I always looked askance at the Swiss Army Knives. After all, if you have four blades designed to cut, screwdrive, open bottles, open cans, and punch holes in leather, what more do you really need? I used to react to the corkscrew with hilarity. Later I'd carry a couple in my car when I drove pizza. Those Yuppies loved their corked wine. I'm more a Boones Farm Strawberry Hill man myself. And I was Johnny-on-the-spot with the bottle opener when non-twist-top beer caps came back. I broke the tip of the blade trying to remove a phillips screw. A philosopher by nature, I sharpened the blunt edge, and vowed not to make that mistake again.

I lost that knife, when my RV burned to the frame. A true companion since 1970 and the third grade. I had put it up in a utility drawer, as I didn't wish to lose it. I had taken to carrying a Swiss Army knife. And a cheap one-bladed folder for regular cutting work. I figured for the last ten years, I wouldn't cry over the loss of a knife costing five dollars or less. I sure wept when I lost that Camillus. I have one from 1985. It doesn't sport the easy opening peg on the screwdriver/bottle opener blade. I carry a Wenger Swiss Army that is the first of it's sort NOT to have a corkscrew. As I don't drink wine or have a pizza drving job anymore, I'd be hard pressed to even find a corkscrew in my kitchen. I still miss that knife, and unlike Dan'l Boone or Davy Crockett, I never even gave it a name.....