Sunday, October 21, 2012

Vote for me for President!

This will be my Inaugural Address,


'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete remova
l of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.


The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France ...

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Mess with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors: Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not ticking us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment.
I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to
put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America .
It is time to eliminate homelessness
in America . To the nations on List 1,
a final thought. Thank you guys.
We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America ...
Thank you and good night.'

Friday, October 19, 2012

New Shirt!

I have received my UnderTech Undercover concealment T shirt!  Like the UnderArmor T Shirt it compresses the hide.  I am breathing hard from wearing it.  I hope it breaks in soon!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Need New Holster(s)!

I tucked the S&W 457 in the back of my waistband. Every time I bent slightly, the magazine ejected. Small of back holster indicated. Two actually. Small of back, right hand draw, is a left-handed holster. Concealed near hip is right-handed. Very tired of 9mm carry.

Do It NOW!

Urban legends abound!  When I first started carrying concealed, I selected either .22lr or .25acp.  All sorts of 'Experts' related tales of how neither round was effective.  Stories of how one guy survived being shot by same.

Finally I brought out the FBI Uniform Crime Report.   Any time one of these wankers started spewing their BS, I'd tell them how many fatalities occurred from each round in any given year. 

I probably spent more time and effort on that, than I spent actually turning in an assignment.  I could at one point tell you every caliber's mortality numbers, correlate it with sales of various calibers.  .32 had been in a decline since 1977, .38 dropped off in 1985 when most departments switched to 9mm, I could go on for hours. 

What I want to say is that....
Carrying anything is preferable to carrying nothing.
If you wait for the perfect carry gun to carry, you'll die!  Probably of old age!