Monday, January 24, 2011

Oh Yeah?

I was informed that it was totally inappropriate to sing Rob Halford's "Made of Metal", whilst driving my 2005 VW New Beetle. I was quick to inform the young snot wearing a Spokane Police jumpsuit, I'd face him and whatever he fancied as a muscle car, and take them both roughly from behind, with my off the shelf VW. I happen to know what a police crown vic does 0 to 80 in, and I know what my 'dub' can do it in.

And my fat, middle aged, reflexes might give him an edge, if some bio-rhythm junkie can figure out when he's having his best day, and I'm having my worst.


I'm Heavy Metal...
He's Hip-Hop Cop...
He's so toast! I was laughingly outrunning cops
in a Ford Pinto, before he got his first onesie.

Lyrics | Halford lyrics - Made Of Metal lyrics

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Buy this guy's Ebook

Buy Now

You so gotta download this book!!!
I'm currently looking for a piece of land.
To build the small cabin to live in forever.
I grew up in a house less than 500 square feet.
Twenty years ago we had a fire.
The contractor talked us into rebuilding as a nasty beige barracks of a house with attached garage.
The old house was shaped by us, and it shaped us.
The new house is a warehouse, and I feel warehoused.

Sorry the back pain is horrible today!

Back issues

I am 6'6" tall. That means I've had to bend slightly at the waist for everything.

The back is truly on fire today.

I feel like eating 30mg Oxycontins like salted peanuts.

Though I have a bottle of Bushmills Irish, that I think I'd like better.

Overheard over the phone!

Crash Burn (in Seattle, on phone w/me): Wow you're off the hook today! What's this column here, "Women I worship who wouldn't give me the time of day"?

Me: Just the hottest women in the Blogosphere. I propose marriage to them regularly!

CB: Isn't Breda Fallacy married?

Me: Yeah, I'd have to take Mike too, Can't break up a set!

CB: They should all say yes at the same time....

Me: And if I ever win the lottery,

CB: which is hard when you don't buy tickets,

Me: uh huh, if I ever do, I'll be able to support all of them at once!

CB: I love you man! but, have you ever looked in the mirror?

Me: No, it throws a shadow over my positive self image!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

At least I'll get you drunk first!

Marko writes about a literary contest.

They charge you $149 to enter.
They require you to sign over your rights in perpetuity.
They won't return non-winning entries.
All entries become the property of the publisher holding the contest.

And they don't even mention using lube and a comdom.

I have fell for these things before...
Galaxy Mall for instance.
But they took me dining, dancing, and got me boozed up first!

How about it Blogosphere, would you like to enter my contest.
Pay me $99.95 and I'll screw you, till you're sore.
Of course since I announced that as my intent, you know what that makes me........

But what does her contest make Karen Hunter....
As they said on

I'm Contemplating Suicide

Facebook, and MySpace Suicide that is.

I'm to lazy to link, just Google the Fucker.

Arguments pro and con, for and against,
Will be read in comments!

web 2.0 suicide machine - untwitter from moddr_ on Vimeo.

Your excuse is no excuse!

Mister Obama! We the People of the United States of America, want you to MAN THE FUCK UP.

Stop whining about your many failures and shortcomings being, "George W Bush's Fault!"

It sets a dangerous precedent.

The next guy will just fuck off the job like you're doing, and complain that "Well I inherited all this mess from the Obama Administration."

No More Excuses. Do the Job you told us you could. Or quit.
And pony up that fucking birth certificate that the rest of us have to.

Stop whipping out that Race Card like it's your membership card to the Golden Hills Country Club.

Whoa! There's your whole administration in a nutshell,

Master Race Card --- It get's you everywhere you want to be!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Computer Blues

There are five people currently in my household.
We have added four computers to our house this christmas.
two desktop to replace ailing machines.
and Laptops for my love, and the scrounging roomie.
She'd have whined otherwise. She did anyway.
Now there's a network glut of 8 machines.
5 on wireless.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I can remain silent no longer

I have prowling tiny house and micro cabin sites.

-No Shit Sherlock! You aint been talking about much else.-

True Watson, but one thing has been grating upon me for ages. These guys, mostly sensible people, have been bemoaning the high price of a chimney for a wood stove. Even if the chimney is astronomical, it's just a tube of sheet metal, with the purpose of conducting the smoke outside the house. I have made vent tubes from everything from pringles tubes, to juice cans, to 4 and 6 inch sewer pipes for wood stove chimneys.

If you are looking at $300 prices for 15 to 20 odd feet of chimney, get a book on fireplace building from, and David Gingery's Sheet metal book. The late David Gingery is famous for his series of foundry books starting with making an aluminum melting furnace, and using it to build a metalworking shop from aluminum cans.

His most remembered quote, will be "Half of my time I'm trying to figure out how to do something for 50 cents, the other half I'm trying to scare up the 50 cents."

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Buy This E Book

Buy Now

You so gotta download this book!!!
For those of us who wanna lose the McMansion.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Canvas Bathtub

Anybody having seen that episode of M*A*S*H where Hawkeye and BJ order a camping bathtub from Abercrombie and Fitch, (Back when they were a outdoors supplier and not a fashion house), and the shitstorm that ensues from that item?

I have for 4 or 5 years now, tried to obtain one of these items.
The logic being that it is more portable than the Rubbermaid Stock Trough that starred in most of my more Fellini moments.
Guess it goes into the "I'll make it myself pile!"...