Thursday, April 30, 2009

after 30 some years

This song still moves me.
anyone who has a problem with any perceived inconsistency in my listening choices...
can bite me!

Monday, April 27, 2009

the return of CB radio

I'm thinking of getting the neon blue Cobra 76 XTR cb radio, and building the circuits to allow it to transmit and receive on the upper and lower sidebands. I've spent some hours, days, weeks, with several hand held units, and it looks like I and my vast right wing conspiracy of hope would have the band to ourselves.....

OK we're really only a half vast conspiracy...

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Stop Kicking my Dog!

Apparently I'm the only one in blogdom, or at least on blogspot, that actually likes Dog the Bounty Hunter. I'm kinda shocked. I mean the comments section on Tam's blog resembles the kind of treatment a black man would get from whites in the 1930s to 50s. I guess this is one area in the Obamabots and the Palinites can agree. No matter who wins in the force remedy between the inconsistant kinds of worlds, apparently there will be no place for the Dog in either world.

Of course since the administration aint gonna let you bail out when they arrest you for the heresy of disagreeing with the current junta, it's a moot point anyway.

And the guy in SnarkGirl's comments who brought up the Mexico business, I wish when the time comes, I have the balls to break the law in order to do the right thing.

I conceded it was possible in an infinite universe that our local celebrity, The South Hill Rapist, may not have been the man convicted of the crime. Considering the characters of our county prosecutor and the most visible cop in the mess, it's a possability that we were all had.

I got jumped by people who weren't even alive at the time this all took place. That would mean the public had been HornSwoggled.

Don't immeadiately jump on the hate bandwagon. Not even of a media celebrity. That's playing into the hands of a cyincal, calculating and controlling government.

Plus Dog would never dismiss you out of hand like most of you have done him.

Guess that makes him the better man...

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Did you know?

My first paying locksmith job was to pick open the locks of a Chastity Belt?

Thus my Pseudonym.

Taken from Love Laughs at Locksmiths...

An indirect quote of Shakesphere.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

ever get the Idea???

We may have voted for the wrong man this election?

Tell me you didn't see this when the RNC said "Vote for McCain"!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The REAL Boulevard of Broken Dreams Part One

I started this blog with the delusion that I had things to say or stories to tell.

I have one that cries to be heard.

Six friends!

One played the drum in the percussionauts, suspected there was more, bought a drum set through selling subscriptions to GRIT. Shocked me! I didn't think there were enough readers of GRIT in the 3-4 state area to earn the drum set.

The Second actually burst out sobbing when Foreigner's 'Juke Box Hero' came out. They knew who he was five years before the song came out! He bought an acoustic, then an electric guitar from a downtown pawnshop with money he made mowing lawns. When the band got it's second gig, he bought a brand new Telecaster.

The Third was given a toy guitar for his fifth Christmas. Actually taught himself to play watching HEE HAW. By the time he was eight, he played guitar, organ and piano for church and school. Bought his guitars from the Pawn Shop by virtue of mowed lawns, shoveled sidewalks, and a paper route.

The Fourth started out on guitar, but found the bass more to his liking. He liked the Jazz bass lines where one moment, he was keeping the beat with the drums, next he was challenging the drums and keyboards for rulership of the bass range.

The Fifth boy loved the harmoica, banjo, and could sing Janis Joplin's 'Take Another Piece of my Heart' in such a way that you would look around for Janis herself.

I saved the keyboardist for Sixth, because he was a tortured soul in the true fashion of Patrick MacGoohan's Number Six on The Prisoner. He actually hated playing piano, his parents sent him to classes to better him. The classes were free. Well monitarily free. Years later the truth would come out. The fifty-something piano teacher was a cougar of the most extreme kind. She would sit beside him with her blouse open to a very exciting view. Then she promised him special gifts if he'd learn his lessons perfect. For six years, he became an increasingly technically competent pianist. She'd take him to perform at reigonal competitions. He'd perform on the piano for the audience, then he'd perform for her in a motel room.

His family, blissfully ignorant, would have him play the piano at every opportunity. He found he could seduce young women with the performance and his visibly tortured soul. Plus the fact that the non sedentary performances, sometimes three times daily, or all weekend long, had made him a wiry muscled youth. He would do something that he truly loathed, for the fact that it paid off so well. When ever someone comments upon how someone could become a heroin addict, when they have a phobia of needles, I am tempted to tell them the story. Sixth could turn out a performance of icy brilliance on the piano, which he totally hated, because he knew it would get him laid every night of the week.

more to follow...............................

The guns in the pawn shops are the only reason I go there. you wouldn't know it to look at me, but I'm the dewy eyed sentimental sort. It just kills me to look at a hock shop guitar, and know that the kid who dreamed of standing on a stage with his pals, in front of 3 to 10,000 screaming fans, is now driving a cab, or slinging fries at McDespairs.

I'm sure the guns have a story to tell too, but guns are more in the moment objects.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

They'll never find the bodies!

As some of you have pulled from these readings, I have an aged Father, and a semi freeloading boarder whos moved her child, and brood of 4 grandchildren in over here. Well the kids are back in Montana, and Mom & Daughter seem bent upon making me into a serial killer. I already am a CEREAL killer. Someone under the delusion of being helpful, poured two boxes of cereal together. Like styles is ok but anyone pouring granola in on top of my sacred Frosted Wheat!!!

As the title says....

Al Quaida wouldn't perform such an act of blatant terrorism.

Some things you just don't do!

Saturday, April 18, 2009


I'm trying to get a ubuntu linux distro downloaded, where I can boot off a usb memory stick. Well there's Brigid distracting me with food. when I'm calmer, better fed, and more coherent, I'll post gruesome details......

It involves 14 hour downloads off one of those 'blazing fast' comcast connections.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Yo Ho! Yo Ho! A Pirates Life For ME!

I might even take several pirate's lives.
Over at Atomic Nerds they have the right idea or two on the subject.
Here in Washington STATE, our girls in elected office will be getting their panties in a twist, when they get the letter I (ahem) pirated from Stingray.

as follows I will send out to the first three.
I keep friends over in Couer d'Alene for the last two names.
Maybe if we send out enough letters, some elected official will send us one as a joke.

Thanks Stingray! I needed this...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear Senator Murray,

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear Senator Cantwell,

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear Congresswoman McMorris-Rogers,

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear Senator Crapo,

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear Senator Risch,

I am writing today to formally request issuance of a Letter of Marque and Reprisal against pirates operating in and around the waters of the African continent. Article one, section eight of the US Constitution enumerates this among the powers of congress, so while Constitutional authority has not thus far been a subject of concern for the current administration, this would actually be within the bounds of what the government is allowed to do. While such letters were banned by the Declaration of Paris in 1856, the United States did not actually sign that treaty, and honors it only as far as a gentleman’s agreement. Clearly, this is not binding, and in the face of having US shipping interests captured and held for ransom by pirates, some response above “tut-tut” is in order. Remember, the last time this situation arose, the US Marine Corps added a rather memorable line to their official hymn- one which kept would-be riff-raff at bay for over 200 years.

As recent events have demonstrated that a modern multi-billion dollar navy is no match for Somali pirates, I feel it is neither out of line nor inaccurate to note that as a private citizen using my own resources, I can perform a task the US Navy is currently failing at for a much greater cost efficiency. To go a step further, such a letter would generate revenue for the currently desperately cash-strapped government coffers, as the proceeds generated by any captured vessels would logically count to my personal taxable income. While I don’t feel it particularly fair to hand over a share of income earned by personally cleaning up after a government agency’s failings, such is the nature of taxation. Naturally, any income generated from anti-piracy operations on the high seas will be diligently reported to the IRS with the same honesty and accuracy as the very Secretary of the Treasury himself. Fair is fair, after all, and I’m sure the economy in the area where seized assets would be processed are quite compliant with the tracking and reporting needs of the IRS.

If you’re still unconvinced, Senator, consider that granting my request would benefit not only US shipping interests, but would also benefit our allies. Just as a rising tide lifts all boats, a decrease in pirates makes shipping easier for everybody. With one simple letter, the US could regain the good will of other nations plagued by these modernized anachronisms. Can you place a dollar value on the thanks of a foreign nation (and if you can, would you be agreeable to deducting that amount from what the IRS will claim I owe)? Tales of Somali pirates terrorizing vessels operating under nearly any flag you care to name have been in the news for quite some time now, and it is within the power of congress to take steps to if not eliminate, at least severely reduce the losses suffered by many countries, and many more private companies.

Finally, consider the risk-to-reward ratio. A Letter of Marque does not grant me any special assistance from the government. It will cost only the price of the stationary on which it is printed, and should I fall victim to the pirates myself, it would be nobody’s fault or responsibility but my own. When I succeed, however, the government will generate revenue, make the seas a safer place, and stop the financial hemorrhage incurred by having US Navy resources operating in the area. How many sailors were drawing a paycheck across how many ships in order to have a staring contest with one small lifeboat? My private operations would be able to save the US literally hundreds of millions of dollars once the cost of the ships and weapons are factored in, and given current government spending practices, every last penny of those savings are desperately needed.

Thank you for your time and consideration, Senator. I look forward to receiving my official Letter as soon as possible, as clearly there is much work to be done.

John (Captain) "Mad Jack" B

Maybe with that, I could score some Ma Deuces -.50 Browinings- I always wanted a couple!

Monday, April 13, 2009

That Judgemental Bitch!

I was waiting for a friend in my Volkswagen New Beetle, some affectatious little dippy broad gestured at me and said "Him and that car aren't a good fit!" My first impulse was to observe that since I could afford it, it fit me just fine. It gets my ass from point a to b. It also serves the wants and needs of freeloading, cancerous pustules upon the anal spinchters of society, like her.

I suppose she'd be happier if I drove a 69 Cadilliac, or a Harley Davidson. It would be so much easier for her to hate me. I mean I'm fat, I work for a living, I pay my debts. Every thing she's too cool to do. Hardest work she ever did was score enough coke and/or meth to maintain her Jenny Crank Diet.

In case you didn't get that, I get incensed when looked down upon by scum...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I'm so EVIL!

I thought of this yesterday. It will probably abominate everyone who thought well of me....

New target for the range. An Easter Creche featuring a crucified Christ, and about 8 Roman Soldiers. The Romans are the targets. The guy with the spear gets 3 in the crotch, and 3 in the belly.

A few years back, I had set up oval tracked fake rabbits 75 yards out.

Serving rabbit stew for Easter is SO passe.

Laughing Locksmith is in LURVE!

they are called kcpr-9 simple key clippers!
They're Cheap, Versatile, Simple, and in my price range!
Well I AM taking donations. Paypal Button on the right!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

never bloody fails!

this company offers an alarm, and free medical monitoring. Since Dad is poorly, and I don't feel good myself half the mornings, this sounded like a good idea. WRONG! It's a burglar alarm and now I'm slaved to become one of Spokane's little Cash Cows. Well the money-grabbing democrats are going to get an earfull from me next monday's city council meeting. Nobody except Spokane has this, so it's wrong by definition.....

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

This is SO awesome!

This bank gives you 5.03% interest on your checking account. Keep a hundred in there and get $5.03 at the end of the year. Ya gotta do a direct deposit or direct debit every month. The same one, not a new one every month, and ten debit card transactions. Gas, Restaurant, and Grocery...
...Voila! and if I can stick a thousand there, I get $50.30 that I didn't previously have.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Late Birthday Present

One of my former students got me a late Birthday Present. Probably the most well thought out one. A half-dozen Craftsman #2 Phillips Screwdrivers, a half-dozen Regular screwdrivers, also craftsman, and an odd assortment of differing pliers. I think she scored the pliers at Goodwill, and yard sales. She got the screwdrivers new either traded, or bought at Sears. She was over at my house a little over a year ago when I went on a rampage, and tracked down all my misplaced tools, and put them back in tool boxes, tool bags, the tool bucket, and various utility drawers. I have an ex-girlfriend who is just that thoughtful. she raids the goodwill stores for odd tools, and (still) presents them to me infrequently in a pail or milk crate.

Sort of like Tam playing the "If he buys me Ammo, is it serious?" thing. I know both women are sweet on me. I just don't know why! I DO own a mirror, and I'm a little absent minded.