Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Reloaders Blues

Over 2000 rounds of 9mm.
300 rounds of .45-70 (single press).
700 rounds of .45 Long Colt.
1200 rounds of .38. (for Dad, so I shant bitch)
It's the .45 ACP that pisses me off.
so much the 1400 rounds.
The fact that some genius at Fiocchi thought
that a small pistol primer pocket on some
rounds was a good idea.

If I ever find this genius, I have a swirly earmarked
just for him.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Back to my Roots!

I've FOUND you Steve Ciarcia!
(Let's see James Earl Jones do that line with a straight face!) :)
Back when I was an under-twenty-something, there was a column in Byte Magazine, that for me was the only reason to buy Byte Magazine. Ciarcia's Circuit Cellar. We learned to build our own techno toys. Sorry Bobbi! I love tubes, and transistors. But DIP Integrated Circuits are the grownups Legos. I'm playing around with GPS Chips. I saw what they want for development and eval kits. Since I have a few -dozen- gps-chipped phones, I'll be making a eval kit from a defunct shoe phone.

actually this project, if carried out to it's full conclusion, would have me a power supply that I can recharge at any time. Then I could adapt the display to show the gps coordinates. If I could figure out how to do that now, I wouldn't have to remove chips from phones.

Has anyone messed with phone GPS chips?

I messed with a few On-Star Boxes! Too big for anything other than entertainment value.....

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Now I'm really pissed off!

I woke from a confused dream, uneasy for my friend.
Let me start from the beginning.
When I was younger, 25, I had a hard core drinking buddy, 40-something. I dreamed of him as he was then, and I as I am now. I was trying to help him find his lost love. He told me this story one night. He'd met a woman, gave up the booze for her. On the night that he'd told her they should marry, he took a drink to celebrate. As was the way with him, one drink led to 20 more. He sobered up, not only couldn't find her, he couldn't even find the town she was in...

I dreamt that I was trying to help him find her. My take on the original story was that he'd hiked to the "backyard" of the land he'd staked out for them, got turned around, and somehow ended up 50 miles away. It could happen! A friend and I, chased a deer from North Dakota, 20 miles into Canada one time.

We triangulated where this town should be. There was only a graveyard, the largest part of which held the residents of a town wiped out by a flash flood. In 1947. 40 years prior. Either my drinking buddy was almost 70, or he somehow got transported in time.

All the dream was pieces of experiences from those days. Driving drunk down a country road, friends and I found the cemetery. We drove home much more sober than when we arrived. It took five years of pre-internet research, before I again found the graveyard and town.

I doubt there was any actual connection between my drinking buddy, and the unfortunate residents of that graveyard. I did find several people who died in their teens and twenties. Gave me pause for thought.

But what pissed me off, is a friend sent me links to all the foreign people who thought we should vote for Obama.

Now in any Americans endorsed a foreign candidate, it'd be the kiss of death for them. Like if I said anything regarding Andrea Merkel, other than admiration of her tits she showed off for us. Germany would rise to a man, and say, "How dare that stinking Amerikaner tell us who to vote for!"

As for Nicholas Sarkozy, If that narcissistic ass tries to influence American policy, or opinion one more time, I'll send a resolution to the UN that we give France back to Germany.

I think that Harold Saxon was the best choice to lead the UK.

but I'd only venture that opinion if asked. And only to a fellow Doctor Who fan.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Everybody have a Merry Christmas

Unless you'd be happier not to.

I'm off to ponder the true meaning of Christmas.

Nothing on TV anyway.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

counter point

that's the title of Tam's post.


Tam and Roberta X are mentioning that the newspapers in our captive press are trying to start a holocaust against gun owners.

Joanna disagrees.

I disagree with the whole thing.
Our politics shouldn't be driven by people who are so afraid of guns, they would require the government to forcibly disarm us. Half the big voices, Feinstein, Pelosi, Schumer, are liars and hypocrites. They own guns, carry for self protection. They just don't want any of US to....

We need to go on the offensive now. As far as I am concerned, anti-gunners are willing partners to every murder, theft, and rape that happens in this country. Any time an anti gunner starts to spout off, we need seven loud women screaming RAPIST!

They have demonized us gun owners nonstop since Robert Kennedy's assassination. It is time to take the fight back to them. They aren't expected to be truthful or logical, hit them with their own Alinsky-Fueled activism.

I don't care if I AM a heart patient!

this is just too tasty to give up....

boring saturday

busy though, Dad screaming for me to do seven thing at once.
I got to help relocate a bear.
Glaring at myself in the mirror, I was tempted to shave my head.
I'll wait till after my Birthday (Feb 23rd) or maybe St Patty's Day.
I was reading a friend's old blog entries, and wondered if he still had
the issues with shaving his head....
For gosh sakes Gus, It grows back so fast. It's acceptable to everyone
cept. hippies within 10 days.

I'm not a fair witness though, since the first Dune Movie, I find bald women
totally hot.

In other news, I just got prescribed nitro glycerin pending a heart study.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Democrats, They're what's for Breakfast!

The right to have an opinion.
That's The American Way!

Anyone remember those PSAs?

someone would ask diverse persons how they felt about say.... Eggs.
Tape all the answers.
Then someone would deliver the tagline above.
I think it was from the AD council...
I don't remember any after Clinton got elected...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

There's Justice After All

There was a certain scum bag I mentioned in a previous post.
Cops just caught him with a 15 year old girl, and a metric ton of child porn.
It's horrible, but compared to what I had planned for him, he got off light.

God has a wicked sense of humor sometimes. He puts temptation in my path,
then shows that he can out nasty me any day of the week.

And twice on Sundays...

first snow!

got a PF 9, pics to follow. little guy, smaller than most .380s. kicks like a baby missoura mule. I must stop extending my pinky like I'm drinking tea oh so posh. Aside from that, I'm looking like I'm making a heavy metal salute with a pistol in my hand.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Can we trade Obama?

I want This Guy!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Commie Economy

The FN Five-seveN and a P90 PDW would be so very Stargate. But what I'd spend for one of each and a thousand rounds of 5.7x28mm ammo....

I could equip 10-15 people with Tokarevs, and a carbine that would take the Tokarev's ammo and magazines.

And still have enough R&D budget to try to build my own Stargate.

Kel-Tec Sub 2000 9mm carbine

Anyone who grew up in the 60's and 70's like I did, has to love this beast. Folded it measures 9X18", Open 7x35". It has a total Man From U.N.C.L.E. of Zero M - Secret Agent feel to it.

They do need to make this in 7.62x25 to encourage me to buy 10 more, plus all the rest of that ammo at Cheaper Than Dirt.

Like I need the provocation!!!

This is the Hi Point 9mm carbine. The first one to offer me a pistol carbine in 7.62x25 Tokarev caliber, with the added fillip of accepting either a Tokarev or CZ52 Magazine, will get a whopping order from me.

Monday, November 16, 2009

I'm glad She's OK!

Brigid, one of my favorite Blog People had a spot of bother.

If it can happen to she who carries a Sig Sauer .45 while she works.....
It can happen to anyone.
In fact on November 2nd it happened to me.

I was in the Kitchen that Monday night readying my Insulin Pens.
Too lazy to walk over to the Knife Rack, I took my gerber, that I keep
clipped inside my front pocket to cut open some box seals.
I then left it on the prep table.
As I was putting one set of pens into my kit, there was a knock at the door.
It were ten o'clock, so I braced my foot behind the door. I told myself if it were
the missionaries as this hour, I'd Give 'em Hell!
I opened the door with my foot braced behind it. At night, no one comes in unless
they have a warrant, And firepower.

In the yard was four, count 'em four, guys wearing bandannas over their faces.
I looked the first one in the eyes. "What's going on?" I asked. I was about to add
that Halloween was two days over with, when he screamed something incomprehensible,
and raised what looked like a short baseball bat.

I slammed the door, braced my foot against the bottom, shouldered the door, and
bellowed for the roomie to bring me a gun. I was fairly specific. I wanted my .410
Snake Charmer. She brought me a four foot Mauser. I opened the door swearing
I'd turn a couple of them into mash potatoes. They were running up the block.
Roomie had the cops on the phone. I traded the Mauser for the .410 I wanted, in
case they came back.

Cops actually responded in good time. I left the shotgun on the coffee table, went
to answer the door. One of them took the gun into my room, expressed disapproval
at the size of my gun cabinet. Normally I'd have told him to get his Democrat ass out
of my house, and let me fumigate the place with a couple of good cigars. I also allowed
them to survive the brought it upon yourself platitude that cops wanna use.
If I had my way, a cop would go to jail for saying that. No one asks to be violated.

By the time it were over, I was angrier at the police, than the attempted home invaders.
Even writing about it pisses me off.

After hearing that Brigid also suffered at the hands of the more vigorous of the
something for nothing democrat crowd. As I said at the beginning, if she who
carries a Sig .45 as part of her job can be targeted by those idiots, what chance
does a mere mortal like myself have.

I'm getting trained at Front Sight, Having my dog trained, I am so never getting caught
out like that again...

Saturday, November 14, 2009

I'm kinda mad!

Strike that I'm mad enough to kill something. Mister thing was in his cups expressing admmiration for the murderous escapade down in Fort Hood. Reminds me of those welfare cases down at the plasma centre, who thought those 9-11-01 plane hijackers were ooooohh so brave. I was 8 years younger then and I held my murderous anger in check. Though I did suggest that one clueless woman give the burned corpse of a 9-11 hijacker an oral endearment to show her admiration for someone who'd take her, and her 6 welfare brats, and stone them to death.

Not with a 7 lobed leaf either!

I am probably going to do something evil from my hacker past to mr thing.
Ordinarily I'd call Fatherland Security, and report him for what he said.
But in today's political climate......
They'd probably give him an Obama Cabinet Post.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Fashion Fail

Carrying the PA-63 in a Triple "K" holster. It worked around in the seat so the waistband clip worked loose of the holster, sending holster and pistol on a slow journey down the pants. I made it into the men's room and reached down my trousers and rescued the runaway holster. I don't think it's so bad as to stop using the holster yet! When the end comes for this leather, I may just re-design and build my own holster. It will have on the skin side a cover to keep the real estate around the hammer, and rear of he slide from gouging into my hide.

Monday, November 2, 2009

help I'm going nucking futs

I am trying to find a song.
Got a lot of airplay in late 80 early 81.
It contained the word Tripoli.
And the refrain is either....
We were so younger then
we were so much younger then...
somebody in webopolis must remember that far back.....

Sunday, November 1, 2009

NaNoWriMo Once more into the breech!

Well I got my idea and the damn thing has been echoing in my head for two months now.
I hope I don't choke up when it comes time to put words on paper....

Saturday, October 31, 2009

sport plane license

I was thinking of learning to fly.
Because of my health issues, I could only afford a sport plane license.
I was thinking of asking Brigid to train me.
Reasoning that the money should best go to a friend.
Then I realized, based upon my experiences teaching friends to drive.
That we probably wouldn't be friends anymore at the conclusion of my training.

Besides, she probably couldn't find the time....

Friday, October 30, 2009

Flying Car?????

The article mentioned by Matt G. Sparked a memory hidden in my twisted little mind. I applied to Rip Off Press for permission and Voila!

(click to embiggen. I think)
(click to embiggen. I think)

I was told this had to be said... "The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers are © by Gilbert Shelton. Used by permission. Buy all the Freak Brothers comix online at www.ripoffpress.com ."

I was going to say it anyway. I was also going to say y'ain't got any business doing drugs, being a hippie, or a freak, unless you read these fine instructional comix.

Thursday, October 29, 2009


After the '05 New Beetle, I swore off new cars for good.
I mean I'm paying a car payment to VW and an equal one to Farmers Insurance.

Then I saw This!

I want one!

H/T to Matt G.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Where's mine?

RaChester, our new puppy, is a holy terror! While we sleep, he hunts up things to destroy. I have him housebroken to the point where he'll do his business by the back door if I don't let him out. For that reason I don't wish to latch the door to his crate. So we bought him a muzzle for night time wear.

We put it on him, and Ruby came over, checked him out, then looked up at me as if to ask "Where's Mine?" I didn't realize I'd have to bring doggy S&M gear for the entire class.

When he's not wearing it, I keep it high up. I know he has it scheduled as the next thing to chew up once I turn my back.

Monday, October 26, 2009

notable bits

found over at Baby Troll Blog!

Okay. Here's how this works: If all you got's a hammer, pretty soon, every problem starts to look like a nail. Folla? 'N' if all you've got is government, pretty soon every solution starts to look like oppression.

You may not be able to impose democracy on a country, but you sure as hell can impose socialism. Stop it!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I just had to!!!!

Best Ever!

(H/T to the Anti Idiotarian Rottweiler)

Hollywood Holocaust

I've noticed on the network TV shows, NCIS, and now White Collar, an increasing amount of not necessarily Anti-Semitic, but definitely Anti Israeli attitude. I guess Hollywood has gotten it's marching orders from the administration. Vilify and minimize Israel. I can see this from the perspective of the Democrats, godless and self-loving, they can't see anything from a holy perspective. The strategic one should be apparent. The Democrats have represented themselves as the party of the underdog, the minority. Until now.

Friday, October 23, 2009

F**k the Nanny State

"I don't wanna eat it. I don't like it. It tastes bad. I don't want it,"
the first lady said in her best nasal whine.

Then she added: "We don't want to hear the whining.
We want you to eat it. Just eat it."

- the First Scold Lady of the United States.

Michelle Obama has an inflated opinion of her relationship to those who have the God Given, Constitutionally Secured RIGHT to disagree with her elitist, she thinks her shit don't stink, ass.

You ain't my mommy!

I told Bill and Hillary, now I'm telling you and your Hubby.
You aren't going to shove anything down my throat, so don't try.

My name isn't MONICA!

(h/t to Breda)

Hot Blonde Monsters

I've been plagued by Maurice Sendak for the past three weeks.
It's not his fault, his book which is only 1 year younger that yours truly,
has finally been made into a movie. I was listening to him on NPR, -yes! I'm a slobbering psycho right-wing gun nut and I listen to NPR!- and he tells the audience about where he got his monsters. Relatives, and Sunday Dinner visitors. Monsters are a touchy -and touching- subject with me. Y'see I was a tall kid for my age. I usually got credit for 2-3 years more than I had. This led to a demonization by Mommys afraid for their delicate darlings. Said darlings damn near killed me several times in my childhood. I mean why not hit the big kid in the head with a rock as hard as possible. He isn't really one of us. His life doesn't matter. I honestly wonder if those little bastards had killed me, if they would feel guilt.... If they would feel at all...

It's hardly surprising that I became attracted to a trend of storytelling, that portrayed the monsters as the beautiful people, and the blonde beautiful people as the real monsters.

I got a sort of thrill in 1979, as the movie E.T. came out. This guy was a stereotypical B-movie monster. And the cute blonde kids weren't screaming, and mobilizing the national guard.

The opening of NCIS was good too, A salvation by a shaggy monster, Gibbs in his Ghilly suit.

I really shouldn't post while feverish. Maybe when I'm better, I can make my point.

Monday, October 12, 2009

hot or not

come on guys every one vote me a 10 so I can get a better hotness rating......

Hot or Not: iPhone Dating - Meet singles, rate singles

Saturday, October 10, 2009

The snorting safecracker!

I just spent 2 hours trying to open a safe I have the combination to.
the opening handle went "up" instead of "down".

And I'm supposed to be a professional!

Friday, October 9, 2009

I want one!

Barack Obama just won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Essentially for NOT being George W Bush.

I want one too!

I've done as much or more to enhance the cause of world peace.

Okay I have NOT kissed as much American-Hating ass as he has!
And anybody who thinks I owe them an apology, -just because I'm an American- usually gets it roundhouse from their left, my right.

Okay maybe he's earned his prize.
I think he deserves a Sonny Bono award.....
Give Bono from U2 one as well.
What is it about us Irish, that we irritate folks when we agitate.
At least in U2's case they don't vote with an Armalite.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Home made Monolithic Solids

Take Six blood sample "Test Tubes".
Coat them with PAM or WD-40.
Arrange them in single or double-file above a plaster of paris mold.
Fill mold with air-evacuated plaster from special home made container. (ask)
when mold is dry, cut at midline with a power jewelers saw.

After you have a six or twelve place mold constructed, cast a few dozen lead slugs to test proper function, then fire up the furnace for brass and aluminum, cast several dozen slugs in brass and aluminum, strap them in the lathe (unless you are fortunate enough to have cast them in your exact caliber), turn them down to your caliber.

I have a bunch in both 45-70 and .45 Long Colt calibers. being a laughing locksmith gives me a fair supply of brass, spent .22, and key machine shavings. I have some ambitions for .54 caliber blackpowder solids. Two dozen Bullets can comprise a whole day's shooting.

If anyone has any experience with Monolithic Solid Bullets with critters, please give me some feedback.....

Uh Mom? That man is crazy!

Why is Laughing Locksmith naked before a television switched off???

A. 200 channels, and nothing on.

I'm not all that hard to please on the television front. An episode of NCIS that I haven't seen 20 times this year floats my boat just fine. Failing that I'll switch to M*A*S*H, and watch that commie bastard Alan Alda portray a 50's character, from a 70's viewpoint. Happy Days would be nice, I overdosed on the schmaltzy aspect in my 20's. Then when Erin Moran was throwing around those charges, I really soured on the show. Currently I'm watching a show called Trauma. Lotsa cop paramedics. Gotta be L.A., nowhere else sports that many freeways. I guess from the blood and gore count, this is gonna put in a bid to be our gladiatorial games of 2009. I guess if I get to care about the characters, I'll be a regular viewer. San Francisco is the location, the bridge is in the background.....

They conned me into it with Homicide: Life on the street. Munch was too much like me dialed up to 11. Bayliss, was too angst-y. Meldrick I had some sympathy for. There's one thing worse than being an angsty, homosexual, wiccan. That's having to be the partner of an angsty, homosexual, wiccan. The man had his baggage, but it wasn't remarkable in the face of his co-workers, who would be charged extra baggage fees, if they walked on the plane nude.....

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Chester vs. Ra-Chester

The new guy usually gets called Puppy or Doggie. He isn't as smart as his predecessor. I partially blame this on who helps me to raise him. Chester the Rottweiler had as a surrogate Dad, one of the smartest Cocker Spaniels it was my pleasure to have known, Copper. Ruby, our current mid-size dog, -affectionately known as Bitch- has some attitudes about who's in charge when. If we're hunting, she will take a cue better than any retriever born. I was astonished when she whined and pointed the turkey family that wandered through our neighborhood for a couple of weeks. I don't bird, or I'd have let her flush them. In practice, she's too small for any game I'd hunt, involving dogs.

As a surrogate parent and role model, she sucks rocks. I've had to work twice as hard to teach Ra-Chester anything. I want to eventually teach him to follow me, as I bicycle around the 'hood. Basic moves, and housebreaking have been an uphill battle.

Ruby in all her bitchy glory.

Ruby Enthroned!

Ruby's Turkeys! Look closely! Mom and 4 chilluns.....

Sunday, September 13, 2009

All I want for Christmas Halloween.....

Is my two front teeth. Two upper teeth on any level would be nice. I'm waiting for the upper plate. 'Til then, I'm taking meals through a straw. When I get a spare moment, I'll post a pic.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Anti Gun = Pro Murder

Let me make no bones about the matter whatsoever.
In My Honest Opinion.
If you favor any restriction on a person's right to own a firearm....
You are as guilty of the murders at Columbine, Luby's Cafeteria, Silver Grill, Etc.
As if you pulled the trigger your own damn self.

Any crime that could have been prevented by the victim possessing -and having the will to use- a gun, I hold the anti-gun crowd responsible as accessories before the fact.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

tastes like vinegar

For those who know me, The Laughing Locksmith has been tee-total, with some small relapses, sips here and there, for four years. Since my motivation is different, I don't feel the need for meetings and other trappings, of the celebratory abstainer. Simply put, I will never let a hypocritical state catch me vulnerable that way again.

I guess I could be considered a friend of Bill. I know him as well as anyone else I met in a bar and consider a friend.

One of my props is a handy bottle of rum. Any time I feel weak, I pull it out and stare it down. Remembering the happy times, the times I was on my knees before the porcelain god trying to throw up my toenails, the happy times I wished I remembered.

I picked up a friend recently, though he needed another drink like the ghost of Fred Astaire needed a dance lesson. I decided to poor him one from my bottle. Not like I was using it or anything.

I opened it, and son of a bitch, IT SMELLED LIKE APPLE CIDER VINEGAR!

I guess the daughter of our freeloading roomie found it. Decided it would function as well for my use with vinegar, and she could have free booze.

She and her boyfriend are no longer welcome here. If the roomie doesn't like it she can leave too.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Code Word: Screaming

I've had my share of disagreements with the supporters of the current administration.
Talk about an understatement!
Like Denis Leary and Drugs!
I've had my share, your share, your share, his share, and her share.
Most of these disagreements have taken place on this marvelous invention of Al Gore's,
The Internet.
I very rarely even used upper-case letters.
How can I be screaming?

Y'see the word screaming is the new phrase for those who wish to deprive me of my first amendment right to have and express my own opinion.
Along with Astroturf, and extremist.

Look, we had our disagreements in the past.
Indeed, the Clinton Administration made me feel awfully Jewish at times.
But I hasten to emphasize.
At no point in our disagreements during that time.
Though I felt your opinion wrong headed, and possibly suicidally foolish.
Did I ever attempt to deny you the free expression of that opinion.
I never dismissed your agitating as Astroturf, artificial, manufactured, contrived, meaningless.
I never questioned the validity of your existence.
I never denied Your basic Humanity.
Based upon the fact that you held a contrary opinion.
I was raised better than that.
I was told by a Canadian Actor, playing a Fictional Starship Captain,
That the sacred document he held in his hands, applied to everyone.
Not just chiefs and kings.
The Kohms, as well as Yangs.

That Document was the US Constitution.

It applies to everyone.
Or it means nothing.

I gave you respect, played fair and decent,
when opinions and people I liked and respected ruled the land.
Are you going to do the same, or was I a sucker.
Expecting honor from a politically motivated individual.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

My Blog Friend

She's actually been at this before they were called 'Blogs'.
I fear that she might discontinue our friendship over the current regime.
and I really feel that would be sad.
and somewhat unfair.
I have lost the friendship of three people, that I felt were good friends over this miserable matter.

My opinion is simple, A business while maybe not human under the law, is alive in the mind of those who run it, who deal with it.

The stock market uses the anology of bulls and bears, the bear who hibernates through harsh times. The bailouts are the equivalent of food-filled dumpsters on the side of the road, at the edge of the woods. These corporate animals have now learned a dangerous new behavior. Why forage and strive for food when some idiot just leaves it lying out?

I probably shouldn't use a wildlife anology. I could see the Obama Administration decreeing that the elderly and Republicans should be chopped up to feed the predators in our national parks.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

my friend!

I have a friend who's living wild -and almost free- over in Seattle.
Like Jean Claude Van Damme, he gets into fights.
Exactly like Van Damme, he takes an unacceptable amount of damage in the process.
He's struggling with drink and depression. I'm hoping to see him soon.
Perhaps persuade him to take some time off from the life he's created for himself.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Lockerbie Bomber


Am I the only one who feels like busting a cap in the ass of the Scottish Minister of Justice.
seeing I'm diabetic, hypertensive, and have high cholesterol, I should rate a compassionate early release....

Friday, July 31, 2009

Happy Belated Birthday Dad!

july 30th, he's 77 and mean as hell.
meaner, if you ask Lucifer's opinion...

The father of lies wouldn't lie about that would he?

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Stupid Democrat Tricks

I just found out about Professor Gates, Sgt Crowley Snit. I don't know what's worse. A supposedly educated man acting like a whiny street slag. Or our supposed President who -of course- comes down on whitey in public for daring to even challenge a black man ever, anywhere. Now he wants to 'have a beer' with both of them once he learned that whitey was supported by the Fraternal Order of Police. Second only to the National Education Association as kingmakers in the Democratic Party. His gaffe could conceivably result in a Democratic nominee other than himself in the 2012 election. If we could get him to say something unscripted about teachers...

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

sick as dogs

Me and the new puppy. we ate some turkey day before yesterday. I'm just hoping that puppy and I either respond to the immodium, or have a quick death. he hates it when I try to make him use the toilet. I can't bend over to clean the floor.

My final word on Michael Jackson

Everyone. He's dead! You can't hurt his feelings, and you lessen yourselves in my eyes trying to.
He admittedly paid $30 Million dollars, rather than be pestered by a child molestation lawsuit. I personally had a problem with the prosecutor spending more time on TV, than in the courtroom. Nobody knows for sure if he's guilty. Both sides made sure of that. I also had a problem with the people who despite ample evidence of his eccentricities, still brought their kids to Neverland Ranch. I mean using your own kids as cannon fodder for a civil suit. That's really raw.

If the internet was composed of what Jack Webb referred to as "members of the human race", we could all just agree to let the guy go to his rest, and maybe enjoy his music when it played on the radio.

Monday, July 27, 2009

TV unRealism

we got this guy wound up on cop shows....

and his friends!

You guys have got to stop watching TV! I mean if you stroke out, my fat lazy ass will have to come off disability to do your jobs.

I mean, it’s not like it’s going to get done by Hollywood.

Breathe, count to 10, and switch the set to Doctor Who.

…And I better not hear any grousing about him saving the known universe in 60 minutes, or “That’s not how you overamp a fibulating gonkulator”

c'mon kids, we're talking a medium that portrayed Mary Kay LeTourneau as a hapless victim and her 12 year old lover as a sex predator.

Or how about that splendid portrayal of Randy Weaver's kids wearing Nazi uniforms.

come to think about it, there's a snap somewhere that would blast my friends chances for public office. If one cropped out the leather-jacketed "Zeyons" and the two guys in Star Trek Shirts.

Some day we'll have to discuss the Jewish Nazi Fetish...........

Saturday, July 18, 2009

My Favorite Knife

I have had some lovely knives come through my life. In fact I may still bludgeon to death the schoolyard bully, and his twin brother, who stole my first real knife 40 years ago. I have a pair of Applegate Fairbairn folders. I saw the original A-F in Soldier of Fortune magazine back in the 80's, and did not think I could part with $385.00 for a knife. After all, I had a perfectly good Stainless Steel US marked Military Scout knife with Camillus 1969 imprinted on the base of the main knife blade. I always looked askance at the Swiss Army Knives. After all, if you have four blades designed to cut, screwdrive, open bottles, open cans, and punch holes in leather, what more do you really need? I used to react to the corkscrew with hilarity. Later I'd carry a couple in my car when I drove pizza. Those Yuppies loved their corked wine. I'm more a Boones Farm Strawberry Hill man myself. And I was Johnny-on-the-spot with the bottle opener when non-twist-top beer caps came back. I broke the tip of the blade trying to remove a phillips screw. A philosopher by nature, I sharpened the blunt edge, and vowed not to make that mistake again.

I lost that knife, when my RV burned to the frame. A true companion since 1970 and the third grade. I had put it up in a utility drawer, as I didn't wish to lose it. I had taken to carrying a Swiss Army knife. And a cheap one-bladed folder for regular cutting work. I figured for the last ten years, I wouldn't cry over the loss of a knife costing five dollars or less. I sure wept when I lost that Camillus. I have one from 1985. It doesn't sport the easy opening peg on the screwdriver/bottle opener blade. I carry a Wenger Swiss Army that is the first of it's sort NOT to have a corkscrew. As I don't drink wine or have a pizza drving job anymore, I'd be hard pressed to even find a corkscrew in my kitchen. I still miss that knife, and unlike Dan'l Boone or Davy Crockett, I never even gave it a name.....

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Calling all old pharts!

My young friend Matt has provoked a thought with me!

Where were you during the 4th of July 1976?

I was a dewy, fresh-faced 14 year old young lad.
and despite a flag-worshipping ritual seemingly designed to do the exact opposite.
I still belived in....
One Nation!
Under God!
with Liberty!
and Justice!
for All

My last Girlfriend was born in 1971.
By the time she left elementary school,
that pesky ritual of gratitude for freedom was gone.

My fear is that in the next 4 years, that pesky freedom will be gone.

Why don't we just give up on this silly mass experiment in mob rule?
I mean the SciFi channel is rebranding itself SyFy.
What a concept!
just by shifting spelling you can take something away from the people at large,
and burn your own personal brand into it's most tender parts.
Abbie Hoffman tried to rebrand the United States into Amerika.
He failed. America was too big at the time.

It has gotten much smaller!

This time a free press, wanting to impose the three Orwellian principles upon the remainants of former greatness, combined with a slick advertizing campaign to promote a candidate slightly left of Joseph Stalin.

Since they won we really aren't The United States of America anymore.
we are.......
an Obama-Nation. -sound it out-

That should please the Muslims.
They've been calling us that for ages now.
Our Dear Leader is ALL about pleasing them.
Not much about pleasing us.

I'm sorry! I'm not drinking anymore, and I drank away better 4ths than this.

I've drank better FIFTHS!!!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Special Announcement

The SciFi Channel,
Will become SyFy.


Saturday, June 13, 2009

blegging for skills

Front Sight Gun Training

I'm so there! What I'm gonna do for summer vacation.....

Friday, June 12, 2009

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Ad to be posted on eBay and Craigslist....

For Sale, Cheap Tattoo Machine. I and my biker brothers took it off a scratcher. He refused to perform the necessary requirements to get it back. Namely, Learn safe use, universal precautions, and proper operation of a tattoo machine.

He was also supposed to submit a dozen pictures of artwork a day, until we determined he was capable of rendering a decent representation worthy of skin. The machine comes with a jar of india ink, two eyedroppers, a 5-line tube and needle assembly. The needle and tube are for display reasons only, and will not ship with machine.

Guys! you're advertising stolen goods........

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

that last brass

Brigid, over at Mausers and Muffins, is a woman I adore intensely. I find at my age unrequited emotions to be more satisfactory, than actually interacting with people. She hasn't left any missives in my comments section lately. Probably because I'm not the gentlemanly type she would want her Aunt Minnie from Duluth to be within earshot of...

Anyway the aforementioned Celtic Goddess made a post some days back called;
All of the observations are spot on, but number 16 is most topical.
(16) If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up someone else's brass.
I've met several delightful people that way. Even learned what I thought I already knew about reloading from some of them. I have secured myself a Dillon Square Deal B press. I thought I'd reload 1000 cases of .45. Have you tried to round up 1000 rounds of brass as a first timer? I ended up about 5 rounds short. I'm considered either rock-headed, or anal. I was determined I'd have 1000 rounds reloaded.

The last round was a test case that came with my S&W 457 pistol.

The Five Most Embarassing Songs On My iPod

well I don't have an iPod, but I got a Nokia 5300 xPressMusic.

1. ELO - Last Train to London! Disco era, but what can I say! memories of past friends, first drinks. Teen foolishness.

2. Royksopp - Remind me (I have to track down song from commercials, or they stick in my head forever. - This was the one of the Geico Caveman on the airport sliding sidewalk).

3. Janis Ian - At Seventeen

4. Micheal McDonald - What a Fool Believes

5.April Wine - If You See Kay (I think the crowd's smarter than in 1974)

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Puppy Upppy Date

RaChester will be coming home 7:30 PST. They say he's better. He's chewing up everything in sight including his own IV line. They say that's a good sign. I better stock up on cayenne pepper. It doesn't dissuade him from chewing stuff up. I think he likes it.


My new puppy in in the vet with Parvo. I caught it early. He'll live. My bank account won't.

Please gentle readers, send me your pet insurance experiences!

Since I couldn't sleep, I read all my friends blogs. Then I went to all the linked blogs. Then to all the blogs they recommended. At six in the morning, I gave up and went to visit my dog. He's perky, and waggy, and wondering when he may come home......

My pocketbook wonders that too....

Thursday, May 14, 2009

new skill set

I've decided to add on gunsmithing to my panopoly of skills. Well actually I'm taking the Foley Belsaw course to put a certificate on my wall...

They treated me right in the locksmithing course.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

after 30 some years

This song still moves me.
anyone who has a problem with any perceived inconsistency in my listening choices...
can bite me!

Monday, April 27, 2009

the return of CB radio

I'm thinking of getting the neon blue Cobra 76 XTR cb radio, and building the circuits to allow it to transmit and receive on the upper and lower sidebands. I've spent some hours, days, weeks, with several hand held units, and it looks like I and my vast right wing conspiracy of hope would have the band to ourselves.....

OK we're really only a half vast conspiracy...

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Stop Kicking my Dog!

Apparently I'm the only one in blogdom, or at least on blogspot, that actually likes Dog the Bounty Hunter. I'm kinda shocked. I mean the comments section on Tam's blog resembles the kind of treatment a black man would get from whites in the 1930s to 50s. I guess this is one area in the Obamabots and the Palinites can agree. No matter who wins in the force remedy between the inconsistant kinds of worlds, apparently there will be no place for the Dog in either world.

Of course since the administration aint gonna let you bail out when they arrest you for the heresy of disagreeing with the current junta, it's a moot point anyway.

And the guy in SnarkGirl's comments who brought up the Mexico business, I wish when the time comes, I have the balls to break the law in order to do the right thing.

I conceded it was possible in an infinite universe that our local celebrity, The South Hill Rapist, may not have been the man convicted of the crime. Considering the characters of our county prosecutor and the most visible cop in the mess, it's a possability that we were all had.

I got jumped by people who weren't even alive at the time this all took place. That would mean the public had been HornSwoggled.

Don't immeadiately jump on the hate bandwagon. Not even of a media celebrity. That's playing into the hands of a cyincal, calculating and controlling government.

Plus Dog would never dismiss you out of hand like most of you have done him.

Guess that makes him the better man...

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Did you know?

My first paying locksmith job was to pick open the locks of a Chastity Belt?

Thus my Pseudonym.

Taken from Love Laughs at Locksmiths...

An indirect quote of Shakesphere.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

ever get the Idea???

We may have voted for the wrong man this election?

Tell me you didn't see this when the RNC said "Vote for McCain"!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The REAL Boulevard of Broken Dreams Part One

I started this blog with the delusion that I had things to say or stories to tell.

I have one that cries to be heard.

Six friends!

One played the drum in the percussionauts, suspected there was more, bought a drum set through selling subscriptions to GRIT. Shocked me! I didn't think there were enough readers of GRIT in the 3-4 state area to earn the drum set.

The Second actually burst out sobbing when Foreigner's 'Juke Box Hero' came out. They knew who he was five years before the song came out! He bought an acoustic, then an electric guitar from a downtown pawnshop with money he made mowing lawns. When the band got it's second gig, he bought a brand new Telecaster.

The Third was given a toy guitar for his fifth Christmas. Actually taught himself to play watching HEE HAW. By the time he was eight, he played guitar, organ and piano for church and school. Bought his guitars from the Pawn Shop by virtue of mowed lawns, shoveled sidewalks, and a paper route.

The Fourth started out on guitar, but found the bass more to his liking. He liked the Jazz bass lines where one moment, he was keeping the beat with the drums, next he was challenging the drums and keyboards for rulership of the bass range.

The Fifth boy loved the harmoica, banjo, and could sing Janis Joplin's 'Take Another Piece of my Heart' in such a way that you would look around for Janis herself.

I saved the keyboardist for Sixth, because he was a tortured soul in the true fashion of Patrick MacGoohan's Number Six on The Prisoner. He actually hated playing piano, his parents sent him to classes to better him. The classes were free. Well monitarily free. Years later the truth would come out. The fifty-something piano teacher was a cougar of the most extreme kind. She would sit beside him with her blouse open to a very exciting view. Then she promised him special gifts if he'd learn his lessons perfect. For six years, he became an increasingly technically competent pianist. She'd take him to perform at reigonal competitions. He'd perform on the piano for the audience, then he'd perform for her in a motel room.

His family, blissfully ignorant, would have him play the piano at every opportunity. He found he could seduce young women with the performance and his visibly tortured soul. Plus the fact that the non sedentary performances, sometimes three times daily, or all weekend long, had made him a wiry muscled youth. He would do something that he truly loathed, for the fact that it paid off so well. When ever someone comments upon how someone could become a heroin addict, when they have a phobia of needles, I am tempted to tell them the story. Sixth could turn out a performance of icy brilliance on the piano, which he totally hated, because he knew it would get him laid every night of the week.

more to follow...............................

The guns in the pawn shops are the only reason I go there. you wouldn't know it to look at me, but I'm the dewy eyed sentimental sort. It just kills me to look at a hock shop guitar, and know that the kid who dreamed of standing on a stage with his pals, in front of 3 to 10,000 screaming fans, is now driving a cab, or slinging fries at McDespairs.

I'm sure the guns have a story to tell too, but guns are more in the moment objects.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

They'll never find the bodies!

As some of you have pulled from these readings, I have an aged Father, and a semi freeloading boarder whos moved her child, and brood of 4 grandchildren in over here. Well the kids are back in Montana, and Mom & Daughter seem bent upon making me into a serial killer. I already am a CEREAL killer. Someone under the delusion of being helpful, poured two boxes of cereal together. Like styles is ok but anyone pouring granola in on top of my sacred Frosted Wheat!!!

As the title says....

Al Quaida wouldn't perform such an act of blatant terrorism.

Some things you just don't do!

Saturday, April 18, 2009


I'm trying to get a ubuntu linux distro downloaded, where I can boot off a usb memory stick. Well there's Brigid distracting me with food. when I'm calmer, better fed, and more coherent, I'll post gruesome details......

It involves 14 hour downloads off one of those 'blazing fast' comcast connections.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Yo Ho! Yo Ho! A Pirates Life For ME!

I might even take several pirate's lives.
Over at Atomic Nerds they have the right idea or two on the subject.
Here in Washington STATE, our girls in elected office will be getting their panties in a twist, when they get the letter I (ahem) pirated from Stingray.

as follows I will send out to the first three.
I keep friends over in Couer d'Alene for the last two names.
Maybe if we send out enough letters, some elected official will send us one as a joke.

Thanks Stingray! I needed this...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear Senator Murray,

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear Senator Cantwell,

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear Congresswoman McMorris-Rogers,

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear Senator Crapo,

Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Dear Senator Risch,

I am writing today to formally request issuance of a Letter of Marque and Reprisal against pirates operating in and around the waters of the African continent. Article one, section eight of the US Constitution enumerates this among the powers of congress, so while Constitutional authority has not thus far been a subject of concern for the current administration, this would actually be within the bounds of what the government is allowed to do. While such letters were banned by the Declaration of Paris in 1856, the United States did not actually sign that treaty, and honors it only as far as a gentleman’s agreement. Clearly, this is not binding, and in the face of having US shipping interests captured and held for ransom by pirates, some response above “tut-tut” is in order. Remember, the last time this situation arose, the US Marine Corps added a rather memorable line to their official hymn- one which kept would-be riff-raff at bay for over 200 years.

As recent events have demonstrated that a modern multi-billion dollar navy is no match for Somali pirates, I feel it is neither out of line nor inaccurate to note that as a private citizen using my own resources, I can perform a task the US Navy is currently failing at for a much greater cost efficiency. To go a step further, such a letter would generate revenue for the currently desperately cash-strapped government coffers, as the proceeds generated by any captured vessels would logically count to my personal taxable income. While I don’t feel it particularly fair to hand over a share of income earned by personally cleaning up after a government agency’s failings, such is the nature of taxation. Naturally, any income generated from anti-piracy operations on the high seas will be diligently reported to the IRS with the same honesty and accuracy as the very Secretary of the Treasury himself. Fair is fair, after all, and I’m sure the economy in the area where seized assets would be processed are quite compliant with the tracking and reporting needs of the IRS.

If you’re still unconvinced, Senator, consider that granting my request would benefit not only US shipping interests, but would also benefit our allies. Just as a rising tide lifts all boats, a decrease in pirates makes shipping easier for everybody. With one simple letter, the US could regain the good will of other nations plagued by these modernized anachronisms. Can you place a dollar value on the thanks of a foreign nation (and if you can, would you be agreeable to deducting that amount from what the IRS will claim I owe)? Tales of Somali pirates terrorizing vessels operating under nearly any flag you care to name have been in the news for quite some time now, and it is within the power of congress to take steps to if not eliminate, at least severely reduce the losses suffered by many countries, and many more private companies.

Finally, consider the risk-to-reward ratio. A Letter of Marque does not grant me any special assistance from the government. It will cost only the price of the stationary on which it is printed, and should I fall victim to the pirates myself, it would be nobody’s fault or responsibility but my own. When I succeed, however, the government will generate revenue, make the seas a safer place, and stop the financial hemorrhage incurred by having US Navy resources operating in the area. How many sailors were drawing a paycheck across how many ships in order to have a staring contest with one small lifeboat? My private operations would be able to save the US literally hundreds of millions of dollars once the cost of the ships and weapons are factored in, and given current government spending practices, every last penny of those savings are desperately needed.

Thank you for your time and consideration, Senator. I look forward to receiving my official Letter as soon as possible, as clearly there is much work to be done.

John (Captain) "Mad Jack" B

Maybe with that, I could score some Ma Deuces -.50 Browinings- I always wanted a couple!

Monday, April 13, 2009

That Judgemental Bitch!

I was waiting for a friend in my Volkswagen New Beetle, some affectatious little dippy broad gestured at me and said "Him and that car aren't a good fit!" My first impulse was to observe that since I could afford it, it fit me just fine. It gets my ass from point a to b. It also serves the wants and needs of freeloading, cancerous pustules upon the anal spinchters of society, like her.

I suppose she'd be happier if I drove a 69 Cadilliac, or a Harley Davidson. It would be so much easier for her to hate me. I mean I'm fat, I work for a living, I pay my debts. Every thing she's too cool to do. Hardest work she ever did was score enough coke and/or meth to maintain her Jenny Crank Diet.

In case you didn't get that, I get incensed when looked down upon by scum...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I'm so EVIL!

I thought of this yesterday. It will probably abominate everyone who thought well of me....

New target for the range. An Easter Creche featuring a crucified Christ, and about 8 Roman Soldiers. The Romans are the targets. The guy with the spear gets 3 in the crotch, and 3 in the belly.

A few years back, I had set up oval tracked fake rabbits 75 yards out.

Serving rabbit stew for Easter is SO passe.

Laughing Locksmith is in LURVE!

they are called kcpr-9 simple key clippers!
They're Cheap, Versatile, Simple, and in my price range!
Well I AM taking donations. Paypal Button on the right!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

never bloody fails!

this company offers an alarm, and free medical monitoring. Since Dad is poorly, and I don't feel good myself half the mornings, this sounded like a good idea. WRONG! It's a burglar alarm and now I'm slaved to become one of Spokane's little Cash Cows. Well the money-grabbing democrats are going to get an earfull from me next monday's city council meeting. Nobody except Spokane has this, so it's wrong by definition.....

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

This is SO awesome!

This bank gives you 5.03% interest on your checking account. Keep a hundred in there and get $5.03 at the end of the year. Ya gotta do a direct deposit or direct debit every month. The same one, not a new one every month, and ten debit card transactions. Gas, Restaurant, and Grocery...
...Voila! and if I can stick a thousand there, I get $50.30 that I didn't previously have.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Late Birthday Present

One of my former students got me a late Birthday Present. Probably the most well thought out one. A half-dozen Craftsman #2 Phillips Screwdrivers, a half-dozen Regular screwdrivers, also craftsman, and an odd assortment of differing pliers. I think she scored the pliers at Goodwill, and yard sales. She got the screwdrivers new either traded, or bought at Sears. She was over at my house a little over a year ago when I went on a rampage, and tracked down all my misplaced tools, and put them back in tool boxes, tool bags, the tool bucket, and various utility drawers. I have an ex-girlfriend who is just that thoughtful. she raids the goodwill stores for odd tools, and (still) presents them to me infrequently in a pail or milk crate.

Sort of like Tam playing the "If he buys me Ammo, is it serious?" thing. I know both women are sweet on me. I just don't know why! I DO own a mirror, and I'm a little absent minded.

Monday, March 30, 2009

shooters blues

I just bought a box of 44 special. Worst case scenario
I can use a kinetic puller to put the bullets into a
magnum case. I have a Ruger .44 rifle. I guess I could
cock the thing for each shot. the 44 was all they had.
I'm going to have to order bulk ammo.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

no fun being a vampire nowadays....

....When the taxpayers are out for blood!

Monday, March 23, 2009

New name for the Puppy


not Rochester like the Carburetor.
not Rod-Chester like Jack Benney's combination sidekick and butler.

Ra from the smirking, pussy, fake god on Stargate -the movie.
And Chester in a graceful show of defeat on my part.
I was determined not to name the new dog after the old.
So by tossing the Ra in front, I'm acknowledging  his un-Chester ness.  
While giving into the rest of the family's desire for continuity...


Some people are like Slinkies: 

They don't really have a purpose in life, 
but they still bring a smile to your face 
when you push them down the stairs.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

CVA Mutant teething troubles

I mentioned this rifle before.  I can shoot soft lead slugs the size of AA batteries.  I have a plaster casting mold for various bullets.  If I'm ever offered the chance to go after Big African Game, this will be the rifle I take and use.  Of course my narcoleptic hide isn't hitting the savannah, or veldt, any time soon.  

My main problem is that it uses the smallest diameter AA batteries for the mold.  I found an off-brand called "PKCELL", that makes lovely molds.  

It got me to thinking.  You ever get an aluminum flashlight that is just too small for duracell, or energizer batteries?  That's probably the reason.

I got a pound of black powder, a couple hundred slugs...  
I think I'll bag a spring bear.  And maybe a Mack truck.
joking guys!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Why is it?

I have under the castoff pile in my room.
A TRS-80 model 100 laptop computer.
Tam reviewed one in her Digital Fossils blog.
With 4 old school AA batteries, that thing would go for 2-3 hours of Pre internet era computing.
Most of which is, thankfully, covered by the Statute of Limitations.
I expect new AA batteries, that outlast D cells, would power that old beast for 5-6 hours.
Why then can I not unplug my current laptop, and go into the rest of the house for more than an hour without that post-modern lithium-nickel-hydride battery pack begging the computer to demand I plug it back in?

Is this the progress I was led to expect?

good one

Got This one from Elena Filatova's web site.
Elena is on the short list of people I'd like to meet if I win the lottery.

Scientists of one of banana republic recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium."

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 98 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 212. These 212 particles are held together by forces called morons. Morons still unexplored substance, the distinctive feature of which is large amount of pockets.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it mass will constantly increase over time, because during decay cycle, the mass of pockets of assistant neutrons, deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons on the increase and when it reaching critical concentration, the stucture undergoes a reorganization, in which some morons become a neutrons, a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes everything with which it comes into contact and it comes in reaction with everything that has electrons and not inert. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

When Gv decays, it falls into another new elements, Retiredum (Re) and Retardium (Rt) which some call Dementium (Dm)

The wikipedia article has a slightly different slant.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Two most tasteless t-shirts

I was going to hold my tongue.
But these beat any offering from t-shirt-hell all hollow!

runner up: Ni**er Please! It's the WHITE House.

tasteless t shirt of all time: Got Milk? (with pic of revolver)..
-Though I have said that Diane Feinstein makes me wish Dan White had a Speed-loader!

puppy blues

well he's demonstrated his total un-house-broken-ness to breath taking degrees. He's chewed up cushions and shoes.

I'm trying hard not to make a comparison between him and our new president.

They're both trashing the place......

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

New Dog

He's 18" long, under 20 pounds, and a Rottweiler.
Tentative name is Rosco.
He's 3 months old, and totally unhousebroken.
Plus he has totally annoyed Ruby without even trying.
Gonna be a long haul to my 48th bday.....

Sunday, February 22, 2009

(Dude's) Got a SIG!

I dare not say Babe, until I know her reaction to such words. She, Brigid, IS armed after all. Those of us unfortunate enough not to work for our Uncle Sam, -That is a 'gimme' dear, Only Feds carry SIGs. As police writer Patrick Sweeney would say, they're the only ones who can afford to. Don't get me wrong, I love the SIG, or I would if it were a gun I could afford to carry. I just saw a 9mm Tokarev that came out of the factory looking like a sweet thin-frame Detonics. After some clothes mods, I reluctantly set aside my Smith & Wesson 457 .45, and opted for a PA-63. This Makarov era Hungarian copy of the Walther is a blast. The frame is aluminum with 1% titanium. I may even turn my hand to making that kind of alloy for my bolt action 7.62X25 rifles.

My carry, and the soft floppy hoster that Tam totally detests.....

Does anyone KNOW if titanium will dissolve in aluminum? 3700F is kinda hard to achieve with backyard tech.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Why Do I......

I find some people's actions incomprehensible.
They have a similar gulf of understanding with me.
Years ago, when I was a non-smoker, I had the habit of carrying a BIC lighter.
This, as The Oracle of The Matrix would say, Totally Baked the Noodle of a waitress of my acquaintance. She had (has) a totally fascist viewpoint, that since I didn't smoke, I shouldn't be carrying a lighter. I and my Dad, being social coffee drinkers, frequented the establishment-s where she worked. Finally I explained, that I had the right to carry an object, whether she approved or not. Surrendering my lighter to her, would only mean that neither of us would have fire when we wanted it.

Somehow I'm sure she is a Democrat. Just from her favorite utterances......
You can't say that!
I'm sure you shouldn't do that!
There should be a law......

I finally sat down my coffee cup, paid for my coffee, and said.
"Look honey! If you wanna run the world, run for office."
"I am an American God damn it! I will not be Opressed, Repressed, Supressed, or Depressed!"

She was also the kind of person who'd conplain about your smoking! while taking a half-minute drag on her own cigarette.

That is what put Obama in office, and they will never admit to a mistake.

It will be a long 4 years....

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Gun Humor!

Q. What do you call a poster of a girl, wearing nothing but a bikini and an AR-15?


oh my!

I think it's time for me to again propose marriage to Roberta X.

She wouldn't even think about it...  She's that smart!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

We need him now!

I used to say this about Sherlock Holmes, Now I think I'll release a new fashion statement Lestrade Jeans. According to one dialog between Holmes and the inspector, "As long as I have my trousers, I have a hip pocket. As long as I have a hip pocket, I keep something in it." My jeans would have the hip pocket sewn in such a manner to properly carry a pistol and a spare magazine.

It wouldn't be concealed carry by any means, but I think the time has come to take off the gloves. In fact it may even be time to carry out Claire Wolfe's advice.....
Is it time yet Claire?

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Holding Out For A Hero!

That 1985 Bonnie Tyler Song pretty much captures my feelings now. I keep holding out hope that I'm going to wake up one morning, and find out the last 25 years were all a bad dream. My youth, strength, stamina, and determination will be at their 1984 levels.

Ronald Reagan was the worst thing that ever happened to our country according to my pot smoking hippie acquaintances. Somehow he got a second term. His VP got a term.

BO got in on sheer iconography. The effin' Democrats got religion, and he's the frakkin' messiah. Like the kids in the Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial. I never saw that coming.

The Republicans should have Bought that song and played it to Death over pics of McCain/Palin. All the gun blogs are showing a vid of Rahm Emmanuel posturing on a stage with a Brady bunting.

We SO NEED a hero!

My next Harley may have to be named Rocinante

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Screaming Democrats

I freely admit I have a carrying voice. I also admit to a raise in volume when I get into a subject.
The next Democrat that accuses me of screaming, when I issue a less than laudatory, worshipful opinion on our dear leader....

I will hold their pencil-neck firmly in my fist.
I will position their face exactly 18 inches from my mouth.
Then I will show them the actuality of me screaming.

Silly Democrats! If your ears aren't ringing, I wasn't screaming.

Screaming is the code word of the Dishonest Democrats. You issue an opinion they don't like, they scream that you were screaming at them, and act all injured.

Next one that says I'm screaming, won't have to act....

I wonder if fish and wildlife would open a season on mindless ObamaBots!

Monday, February 2, 2009

A question for my readers!

All 5 of you!
Hopefully more.
If someone does something that damages you.
Then says,
I didn't MEAN to!
They are expecting some degree of forgiveness.
My stand on the matter is that new, vicious, painful, tortures should be instantly invented on the spot for them.

These people blast through your life, thinking only of what they want, what they think they need. When they discover their actions have you actively thinking of their painful murder, they trot out that trite phrase, with the plaintive accent upon the third word.

Both your hands are chopped off at the wrist.
One was a deliberate action.
The other the person didn't MEAN to!
which hand is more missing?

If there is justice and an after life.
Such people will spend ALL of it, getting viciously hurt on all levels.
By people who "Didn't MEAN to!"....

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Super Bowl Sunday

I swear! Until I was 9 years old, I thought the super bowl was the neighbor's Potato Chip container. It's that time of the year again. Usually I celebrate this event by melting down all the aluminum cans in the house. So I don't have to face an insurmountable task next week. I quit after 50 pounds. The Cajun Cooker was over heating the whole house. From the back garage apron. I think I'll do tomorrow's melt in front of the house in the street. Melt all that hard stuff out of my parking spaces.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

A bitter clinger-on!

hit the link!
play the song!
memorize the lyrics!
Hope for the dark days ahead!
No! That's not a racial slur!

I'm not really a rabidly insane gun nut!

I just wanna test out the possibilities inherent in the Steppenwolf song, "Born to be Wild"....

Fire all of your guns at once....
...And explode into Space!

Not so much Gunny as Trekkie.

more phone frolics,

I took the phone down (apart) as much as I dared. Placed it in my warming cabinet at 95 degrees. Figured that's as high as I dared run it w/o melting anything. Remember a Betty Crocker Easy Bake Oven runs very well off a 60 watt light bulb.

It seems to be working like old. A darling 20 something at T-Mobile Customer Care, (She Does!), told me she dried hers out with the car heater. I think I might improvise a warming rack there.

Since I found out the Nokia 5300 XpressMusic is obsolete, I guess I better get a replacement anyway, I don't wanna be the S.O.L. in obSOLete.

The Rise and Fall of the House of Outrageous Pt. 1

After having read "Commander" Conrad Evarts, a former radio personality and rabid journalist, stories on the joys of mobile home ownership. I could contain my nomadic desires no longer. I had read of how Craig Chilton supported himself through college driving motor homes from points A to B. Also I had a copy of Harold Hough's masterpiece Freedom Road.

To further these ambitions out local weekly Nickel Nik paper published a rag called RV Wheel Deals. For about 3 weeks a RV sales lot in Moses Lake, about 100 miles west had been offering outrageously low prices on various RVs.

I could wait no longer, I hopped a greyhound (bus) to Mo's Hole, an adventure in and of itself. I arrived, and hiked to the Used RV Lot. They told me the ad expired last week. I held a current issue, and intended to hold them to their asking prices.

I intended to score a Class C mobile home, an RV with a van front end. I was big on Dodge and Ford, having not encountered a Chevy Van except for the neighbors, which labored along under the constant care of 3 to 4 shade tree mechanics. I had almost committed to a Dodge 360 engined RV, but the salesman saw it leaking from the heater control under the hood. I should have just driven it to a hardware store and installed a cork and piece of tubing. I carry those now for future use.

Finally we settled on the beast the salesman intended to sell me from the get go. A 1980 Toyota Dolphin. We drove it around the lot, and I took it up the freeway to the next exit and brought it back. I was hooked, I could see myself living out of this for assorted SF conventions, Job searches in different cities, or just a what-the-hell road trip.

It was of course, more money than I brought, So I signed a promise to pay 380 a month for 7 more months. I drove home in my new home.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Melt down those keys!

We'll need the brass for pistol frames. I have some medallions I created with a home made arc-furnace ages ago. At the time I thought that if I could create my own terra-cotta pots in an oval shape, I could make belt buckles. I have a few dozen such buckles in the scrap pile. For small brass castings, belt buckles or badges, I can use the flower pot furnace. I thoughtfully bored a couple holes 3/4th up to serve as the fulcrum for tilting out the molten metal. I have it set in a frame where I can tilt it right out to fill a mold. I really should make two more, if I was going to turn out a continuous stream of work.

To do that, I'd have to have a steady stream of old brass. Right now, I use broken keys, key machine filings, 22lr cases, brass berdan cases, and any keys I don't recycle. If I were to do this full time, I'd scrounge brass everywhere. We had a place known as the Fernan Rod and Gun Club. Had in the past tense. patrons didn't police the brass, and the "Rod" portion known as Fernan creek lost its fish due to pollution. Left up to me, I'd single handedly clean up the site. I'd also beg shavings from every key machine in town, and every expended case not being reloaded would be mine.

Ironically I have a steady stream of 7.62X25 cases. If I ever finish these, I'll sell off a couple, of guns, keep my favorites, and struggle on with a mere thousand Boxer Primed cases.

My ultimate goal is to build a double stack magazined, 7.62X25 pistol, capable of being carried anywhere, you'd carry a 9mm with a permit.

I'd have some pictures, but my phone is still dead. Hoping to cadge a cheap replacement on ebay!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Well Shit! I guess She'll Live!

My Roomie that is...

About 5:30 in the A-fucking-M she grabs my cell phone, offers to take it in to the charger in the bathroom. Instead of just sitting it in the cup and plugging the charger in, she elects to try to plug it in in her hand.

You guessed it! Straight into the toilet.

My initial instincts warred with each other. My id told me that if I strangled her now, I could claim heat of the moment - crime of passion...
My inner rescuer told me that, if I just dissembled the phone and let it dry out, I could save it.
The phone is back together, and working fine. May have to replace a couple of battery packs. Knew that a week ago!

I guess since I told the InTarWeb my hopes of strangling her, I'd be hard pressed to pass it off as an accident now. Besides, I'm exploring the possibility of buying an insurance policy on her...

Spoke too soon, the phone is dead, If I lose any numbers, she WILL die!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Squeee! It's here!

I ordered a .457 -405 grain mold for the 45-70. Lee makes a nicer unit than most of my home made attempts. I'll be melting some wheel weights for my first batch. 45-70 govt, with heavy greased patches, they'll fit the .50 cal muzzleloader nicely. Traditions has a .45 in-line for cheap. I guess I could heavy load a .45 long colt round for that survivor rifle. Naah, even an H&R is limited. The highest commercial load is 335 grain for the LC. I better stick with the good stuff. My next thing will be to make a hollow point mold for .45 ACP and .45 LC. CorBon touts their hard cast hollowpoints as the best thing since sliced bread. I still like the soft lead hollowpoints.

.505 Gibbs

"What do you NEED something like that for?" Usually that phrase can close a sale with me quicker than anything. I actually wanted something a little more modern than my .54 Muzzleloading Mutant to confront the odd Cougar or Grizzly. Plus about 15 years back I read a Soldier of Fortune review of a .505 Gibbs hunt in Africa. My usual plan of attack with Grizzly is to have a 12 gauge pump loaded with magnum slugs in case the .54 didn't down him. Happened once with a .50. I still piss myself whenever I remember that hunt. Sort of like in Jeremiah Johnson Will Geer leading that "Griz" live and pissed off, into the cabin for Robert Redford to cope with. Plus as I'm getting prematurely old and frail, I want to settle wildlife issues with more certainty. Less recoil is nice, but not indispensable.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Fat Lazy and Dignified

Too many things are beneath my dignity now a days. Sadly I have to do them, because they are beneath the dignity of a minimum wage worker. Sheesh, I was the guy who'd do anything for a buck. Chopping wood, construction clean-up, hell I even ran a day care center. You can't get kids to do anything anymore. That's a bad generalization. I have access to a small cadre of neighborhood kids who will be very rich by summer's end. 'Cos I'll be putting them in touch with people who need yard work, other work, and can pay.

But by and large, most of these kids want to be paid prevailing wage, for a job they have no intention of doing. Get real Brats! Microsoft is gonna lay off 5,000 in the next year. I can get Phone Jockeys who have developer creds in office software. I'm not going to over pay for underqualified staff. I am living on Medicare and Medicaid, and I am more prepared and able to work than 97 percent of the population.

I'm one of that Baby Boomer Demographic. The people who were born between 1945 and 1965. The people who contributed the most to that Ponzi style pyramid scheme known as Social Security. The people who's requirements for medical care will break the already broken system.

I am fighting to get out of bed every morning, I'm 46 and until I get some sun I'll feel 86ed.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

CVA/Bradley MUTANT in .54 Caliber

A Scary thing, but mine own. I got the barrel off Ebay back when they still allowed the auction of such. It's a CVA Hawken. The stock is a CVA bobcat. I had to convert the barrel from flint to cap lock. It was a total labor of love though. I can pour a goodly quantity of Pyrodex, and fire a slug the size of a AA battery capable of dropping a moose, or grizzly bear. I have molds I have cast from carved wood models. After several rounds of trial and error, I can now brag molds that go from 250, 300, 400, 450, and 500 grain weights of bullets. I someday wish to sit and cast 10 pounds of soft lead into bullets. Right now I consider myself lucky to have a pound or so of wheel weight metal bullets. I also keep a few slightly tapered slugs the actual size of AA batteries. They fit nicely in a .410 carrier, and allow me to have the option of reasonable defense against Christine the Car, or any other of the automotive denizens inhabiting Stephen King's mind. I have in mind the Joker Masked Semi from Maximum Overdrive. He should have known better than to challenge the smooth ape for global supremacy.

OK! Not that smooth in my case.....

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

House of Outrageous

In a younger life, I went by the name JP Outrageous. JP for my first and middle name. Outrageous for the fact that I was in a contest to out do the events of the prior day. When stiffed at a biker kegger, I simply confiscated the keg. By an odd coincidence, the bike of the perpetrator of the stiffing, was found 30 miles away covered in silly string, and condoms.

I admit nothing.

But the blog entry from Brigid. on names caused my mind to drift.

When I was Outrageous, I lived in Castle Outrageous. A pretentious name for the house I grew up in. Striking out on my own, I bought an RV, that I dubbed Stately Outrageous Manor.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Goals for the 21st Century!

What is it about me! Women take one look at my happy fat ass, and peg me for a shiftless slacker. They seem to be massively concerned over my apparent lack of goals. I asserted that I indeed had goals.

  1. Own a really ugly truck.
  2. Have a totally loyal dog
  3. Be able to write the entire Gettysburg Address in the snow.

Now that I have had several ugly trucks, and a 1967 International Harvester Pickup that was sublimely beautiful. Several Dogs that should have had their own chronicles. And Since I decided I didn't have to write the whole damn thing at once, completed goal #3. Now I have new goals inspired by the Obama Administration.

  1. Win the lottery!
  2. Buy the entire two shelves of pistols at Joe's Sports (27 guns)

I probably will buy a few litters of puppies, and maybe a few strays from Spokanimal too!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Idiot Please!

The tired old saw, "If you shot someone with a .25, and they found out about it, ...ad nauseum", still manages to nauseate me.

Look Sparky! If you are credulous of all those stupid stories about someone being shot with a .25, and not being seriously affected by it, by all means, go to the 50 foot target spot of the range and MOON me!

In my personal experience, the .25 falls between the .22 short, and the .22long rifle round, and it's reason for existing is that John Moses Browning, -May his Tribe Increase- was having a temporary problem making the .22LR extract in pocket pistols.

I have profited from this mistaken belief, I used to have a dozen Raven .25 pocket pistols. I've seen blued or black painted ones in the store, but the only ones I've ever seen in the used market are all of the Chromed or Nickel Plated style. Usually I got these for between ten or twenty five dollars. I got two given to me because the firing pin was broken off at the striker, and, "The .25 isn't an effective round anyway." A brass firing pin is easy to turn in a drill. Fifteen minutes max, using the old striker as a guide. Then I'm busting 4X4 boards with that "un-effective" pistol.

I think My Dad still has a Raven. Only because it was Grandpa's I either sold all mine, or gave them away. I wish I'd kept a couple.

My complaint regarding .25 ACP is as follows, A Box of .25 cal cost the same as .357 or .45. Shop around, and you can usually score a mouse gun in .22LR. Shop around some more, and you have 1000 rounds of .22LR for the price of a box of 50 .25s.

I prefer my .22LR in a ruger pistol. Just because I'm bored, and the Roomie from Hell left, I'm gonna try to make myself a pocket pistol in brass or steel. I'll start in .32 and work my way down to .22 short. If our President Elect tries to mess with the second amendment, I'll put a pocket pistol in everyone's Christmas stocking next year. If I could make rough castings from pop cans, I could make 1000, and get a Manufacturing FFL. If I make more than 5 or 6, BATFE will want to have a no-longer-friendly chat with me. I could make rifles until the second coming, and just engrave my name, address, and a serial number on them, and That's OK! but I start making pistols, and someone's gonna come looking for me.

I'm sure the Dave Gingery workshop series wasn't made with my yearnings in mind...

You Want The Truth? You cant HANDLE the TRUTH!

Truth is, we'd be better off with anarchy!

Roberta X has theorized on the subject endlessly!

I'd offer that woman marriage, but, she's too intelligent and gosh-darn functional for me!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Actually That's better than my VW right now in the snow!

I went back and played it a few times, you can only get up to 52 MPG!
18 miles per gallon

Created by The Car Connection

H/T to JPG at Expert Witness

Stupid Habit!

No not the Cigar and Courvoisier, I enjoy while dressed as a Nun!

I'm talking about unlocking the gun room.
Going in, and tossing the keys on the desk.
Then leaving, locking the door, with The Keys on the Desk!
Good thing I'm a locksmith, Who knows how to laugh!
Mostly at myself!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Craigslist or My Right Hand....

Trying to decide on a Valentines Day date.......

I don't have to buy my right hand a fancy dinner...
Or chocolates...
Or champaign...
Or little furry toys clutching hearts.

I do have to buy it a bottle of Absorbine jr.
and a tube of Sportscreme....

No, but srsly, anyone wanna be my Valentines Day Date?
I'm buying! -Holds up boxes of ammo!
I got protection! - Holds up safety glasses, shooter's ear muffs, and ear plugs.

And if we go 2 days early, I'll spring for the Steak & Bake special, at The Maxwell House Tavern. I'll even stand you a beer or several. I don't drink anymore, as Spokane doesn't tolerate epic legends too well, but hey! The more you drink, the better I'll look!

Of course after the range, we could just skip dinner, and rub each other down with the sportscreme. That would effectively insure chastity that night....

Happy New Year Everyone!

New Years Resolutions

I usually don't do these! But all I really have is three.

Get a replacement for Chester, For Ruby's sake, mostly! She needs a pup in her life.

Lose 30 pounds down to 350 plus or minus 15.

And not savage, or pick upon, President Obama unnecessarily, until jan 20th 2010.
(If I had to deal with the current situation, I'd pack up my kids and run back to Illinois, NAY! Hawaii! -Dog, the Bounty hunter! Hide me!)

OK! One resolution bent slightly!

Y'ever notice how the Commies Always put up those big posters?