Monday, January 28, 2008

The high cost of Civilization.

I paid three bills on-line today Gas-Electric, Phone, and Cable TV/Internet. It ate up $550 like that. Leisurely civilized living sure costs a lot. I'm seriously thinking of transferring our 43 year old land-line number to a cell phone, and living without cable for a while. I guess I could also cut down on gas and electric expenses. I'm using a wireless laptop that accesses my neighbor's internet. I could do that for a month or three. Then consolidate the phone/cable/internet on cable. There's wild wimmin I could be wasting that money on.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

say hello to my little friend

A couple of Mondays ago, I was drifting thru Goodwill with my Dad. Senior Discount Day, YAY! Tools speak to me, An Axe with a weathered handle was like a puppy at the Humane Society. I just Had to take that puppy home. A Random Act of Kindness. I ended up having to split some firewood for a friend who lost their electricity. My new friend and I, after a bonding experience of sharpening, made firewood and stove wood in nothing flat. Now after a bonding experience with an inanimate object, I feel I have to attach a name to the object. A friend left me his stainless .45, and after not having seen him for six months or more, I figured the gun was mine for the money he owed me. I won some awards with it, and had "Grapefruit .45" engraved on the slide to honor it for working, when a certain "as seen on tv" diet aid hadn't.

Of course then the bastard showed up and repaid me -with interest- and demanded his gun back.

When Business is slow at my friend's tattoo shop, I'll take my new friend down there. I'll have him engrave "Random Axe of Kindness" on either side of the blade.....

In other news, my Tracfone has successfully been renewed for another 3 months, hey I love the number.

No I didn't give it a name.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Beyond Disgust

Heath Ledger was found dead this morning. My only feelings in the matter are a great sadness that a young man who had the best of everything, died, either by his own hand, or by random event. What really angered me was the comments below the news article. According to the constitution we have a first amendment right of freedom of expression. This allows one to compare the serving president to a chimp, without being sent to a detention camp. This allows one to comment that the vice-president is not someone you'd want to go duck hunting with. This allows an artist to create a statue of Mary, Mother of Jesus, and cover it with elephant dung.

The people on AOL news commenting on mr. Ledger's untimely death are definitely of the elephant shit variety. I'd like to think that the people who hounded the girl on myspace to her death were the exception to human behavior. It seems they are the rule. Cowardly turds who hide behind the internet's anonymity to be hateful and hurtful.

If you want to impress people with how studly you are....
Fix a broken plaster wall, instead of breaking one.
Heal instead of hurt.

Any stupid shit can break things....
fix what's broken, then you'll impress me.....

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Cheating on my true love already???

Yep, I'm such a dog. Those who read my previous post know that I reunited with my one true first love, a Smith and Wesson 469 9mm pistol, after more than 25 years. I'm already cheating on her. I don't regard the little fling with dad's new .38 to be cheating. I'm such a Bill Clinton. I'm running around on her behind her back with a Browning Detective Model. It's not her fault, it's mine. I just fell in love with the way my hands caressingly, but firmly, grip her frame. Actually, I suppose neither one would mind a threesome....

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Together at last - A Twisted Love Story

Hey Matt G. I went to pick up my christmas presents today. The ones that have a 7 day waiting period. Cause I'm too cheap to carry a Concealed Weapons Permit. The first is a Taurus copy of a 5-shot S&W .38 for my Dad. You and Tam will be hatin' on it maybe, but, I'll be roasted along with your beans, before I unass $150 extra for a name brand.

The second IS a name brand, and the first gun I fell in total love with. One afternoon at the Montgomery Wards store, I saw it, just as it were depicted in the magazine. A Smith and Wesson 469 autoloader. Officer Eddie Mahoney, also known as Singer Eddie Money, was on the store musak system singing "I think I'm in Love!" .

After several illicit encounters involving much handling and fondling, I patiently saved up my paper route money. On my twenty-first birthday, I was going to pay the small ransom Uncle Monty wanted, and I was going to be united with my own true love.

On my Birthday, I strode into the store. I had the money. I had the tax. I had extra for ammo to feed my sweet small darling. I was even prepared to tip my chaperone, at the gun counter. He was prepared to spray "Just Married" on the rear window or trunk of my car.

About three days before, the store had ceased selling pistols. The sympathetic counter man tried to console me with a serious discount on a rifle or shotgun. I was inconsolable. After all we'd been seeing each other for nearly a year. He clued me to where he had sold the stock of pistols. I sped there. My darling had left only a day before. I knew my rival wouldn't appreciate it like I would.

I went home and licked my wounds. Tried to lose myself, I went with a Llama .45, A FN Browning. I cheated on the Browning with it's short slide sister. Various cheap pistols from the Ring of Fire region in California. Raven, and Davis are honest cheap pistols. I still bear the scars of my short-lived relationship with the .380 Jennings. It made me realise that the "beaver tail" on an autoloading pistol's frame serves an important purpose.

I finally decided on a Makarov 9X18 pistol. Got a deal on a couple of thousand hollow points. Someone was telling me about a 9mm S&W revolver. I remembered my first love. I got on to, and there it was. I could even hear the oldies channel playing OUR SONG! I bid. My darling came to me slightly worn on the surface from it's years away. We went to the range and together we accounted for 100 rounds of 9mm both the 115gr and the 147gr. Acutally I think the almost 25 years made us both better for each other. Back then I was a callow and foolish youth. Now I'm a mature, understanding man. More sensitive and attuned to a gun's needs.

Next Payday, I'm going to the Police Station for an important document. The State calls it a Concealed Carry License, I consider it a sacred commitment.

I wonder if the officers will spray "Just Married" on the rear window of my VW New-Bug?