Thursday, January 10, 2008

Together at last - A Twisted Love Story

Hey Matt G. I went to pick up my christmas presents today. The ones that have a 7 day waiting period. Cause I'm too cheap to carry a Concealed Weapons Permit. The first is a Taurus copy of a 5-shot S&W .38 for my Dad. You and Tam will be hatin' on it maybe, but, I'll be roasted along with your beans, before I unass $150 extra for a name brand.

The second IS a name brand, and the first gun I fell in total love with. One afternoon at the Montgomery Wards store, I saw it, just as it were depicted in the magazine. A Smith and Wesson 469 autoloader. Officer Eddie Mahoney, also known as Singer Eddie Money, was on the store musak system singing "I think I'm in Love!" .

After several illicit encounters involving much handling and fondling, I patiently saved up my paper route money. On my twenty-first birthday, I was going to pay the small ransom Uncle Monty wanted, and I was going to be united with my own true love.

On my Birthday, I strode into the store. I had the money. I had the tax. I had extra for ammo to feed my sweet small darling. I was even prepared to tip my chaperone, at the gun counter. He was prepared to spray "Just Married" on the rear window or trunk of my car.

About three days before, the store had ceased selling pistols. The sympathetic counter man tried to console me with a serious discount on a rifle or shotgun. I was inconsolable. After all we'd been seeing each other for nearly a year. He clued me to where he had sold the stock of pistols. I sped there. My darling had left only a day before. I knew my rival wouldn't appreciate it like I would.

I went home and licked my wounds. Tried to lose myself, I went with a Llama .45, A FN Browning. I cheated on the Browning with it's short slide sister. Various cheap pistols from the Ring of Fire region in California. Raven, and Davis are honest cheap pistols. I still bear the scars of my short-lived relationship with the .380 Jennings. It made me realise that the "beaver tail" on an autoloading pistol's frame serves an important purpose.

I finally decided on a Makarov 9X18 pistol. Got a deal on a couple of thousand hollow points. Someone was telling me about a 9mm S&W revolver. I remembered my first love. I got on to, and there it was. I could even hear the oldies channel playing OUR SONG! I bid. My darling came to me slightly worn on the surface from it's years away. We went to the range and together we accounted for 100 rounds of 9mm both the 115gr and the 147gr. Acutally I think the almost 25 years made us both better for each other. Back then I was a callow and foolish youth. Now I'm a mature, understanding man. More sensitive and attuned to a gun's needs.

Next Payday, I'm going to the Police Station for an important document. The State calls it a Concealed Carry License, I consider it a sacred commitment.

I wonder if the officers will spray "Just Married" on the rear window of my VW New-Bug?


Matt G said...

Oh, there's nothing wrong with a Taurus M85, and I like their Total Titanium super lightweight 5 shot .38s actually better than the newer Smith offerings. The triggers are surprisingly good.

John B said...

This one is so light and sweet that Dad finally told me to go get my own.

No hard feelings, I even got him a pair of bianchi speed strips, until I score him some speed loaders.