Oh NO you DIDN'T!!!!

This is a hilarious commercial for a Game called Mercs 2 on that 360 X-Box. I'll get one when the hock shops are giving them away! I made a whole bunch on cheap-ass internet terminals out of dumpster dived xBoxen. But I'm digging that Oh No You Didn't song. I'm thinking of sending an mp.3 of it to my Stalker....

I try to stay out of online political discourse!

But this one is way too good. SARAH PALIN, Gubber of Alaska, Foreign Policy Whiz, and Gunny Goddess. What makes her irresistibly adorable, is that she lays bare the total hypocrisy in the Democratic party. Being Black or Female is OK just as long as you are a Democratic Socialist Black or Female. Dare to be anything less than a JACKASS, and the racist and sexist fangs pop right up in those mealy mouths.

This guy says it better than I ever could.

I'm sorry, but if the Dems keep maintaining that their candidate, Satan Incarnate, is a better choice than the opposition just because the opposing candidate is the other party, I have to question their viability as a party any more.....

My Lesbian Stalker

My Girlfriend's Girlfriend is phone harassing me. This is like Dennis The Menace trying to annoy Darth Vader. The Farce is strong in this one. I mean she's like a fatter version of this:



Oooohhhhhh! I'm soooo terrorfried!
In the old days, this yutz would be sitting in the demolished remains of her rented house, and the demolished remains of her life, saying, "I sure fucked with the wrong psychotic mommy-spanker!" But I'm older, wiser, and less inclined to go to jail for stupid shit.

But she's still messing with me! Any suggestions gentle readers?

I'm ALL over that!

I'd have to say having kids in the house, makes me violently opposed to having any of my own. Every 10-15 years I get a new lesson in puppy-proofing my place. But they all grow up and become well trained canine companions. With kids, when you master one set of calamities, they grow into a new set of troubles. I do feel sorry for this batch though. They will need strong mentoring to become humans, and they won't get it from their current or projectable future environment.

Good One!

Check out Matt's Blog!

My New Love!

For God's Sake! John! You're more faithful to your wimmin than yer guns....

My new sweetheart is a Smith and Wesson 457 pistol in .45acp. 200 rounds, with the hope of 100 more this weekend. As Breda would say, Shooty Goodness! Having checked my population of smiths lately, I've got 4 more than I did when the limeys owned the company. 4 more than I thought I'd ever own.

I'm being Stalked!

By my Girlfriend's Girlfriend no less. Her actions have practically assured that my girlfriend will be my faithful helpmate, and bear me strong sons and daughters, whether I want her to or not. Now if this woman/child looked like Sharon Stone or even Glenn Close, I'm talking about the stalker here, she'd probable bait her hook, and try again. Unfortunately She's less than palatable, and I guess she figures if she fights hard enough, I'll get disgusted and leave. Scary part is that I'm not even sure I want to keep this woman, my girlfriend, she fights with my friends, and throws ultimatums in my face too often.

UPDATE: The Lesbian Lover of my girlfriend, and stalker of Yours truly is a super deadbeat. All I gotta do is drop a half dollar, and call support enforcement.

The Roomie From HELL!

and she needs to go there! B-word stole my car, and was gone for three whole days. Not only is she vexing me by stealing my car and wasting my gas, she's also screwing over her daughter who is staying over at the domestic violence shelter. My station wagon is the only car that can haul around her 4 children. So she massively damaged all of us, and she's back without the slightest sign of remorse. Lying about where she was, and trying to make it all my fault.

Update: The daughter is living at our house now with her 4 children, that cold, piece of work that is her mother, dropped the kids off right in front of the shelter. They of course got kicked out for that.

oh yeah!

by the way, the girl friend and I are off again. Anytime I don't do exactly as she wants, whether she articulates her wishes to me or not, she immediately finds the most hateful, hurtful thing to do in revenge. She really doesn't want to play that game with me. When it comes to revenge, I could instruct Renaissance Italians. Her going out to the Gay Bar, and finding the most hideous lesbian to play with is tacky, even by my admittedly low standards.

My first impulse is to have a weekend fling with her former roomie. The person she most detests below all others aside from her ex husband.

I'll be the bigger man, and just have a conciliatory threesome with Rosy and Lefty!

Fone Phun

I get nights and weekends for free, and I got the T-Mobile 1000 minute plan. I usually don't have a problem letting people make a call on my phone. When you work fairly close with Law Enforcement types, it's kinda embarrassing to take a call in a cop bar, from someone who is responding to a call from 3 days ago, to tell the person who borrowed your phone, 3 days ago, that they got their shit. Then a couple of cops bucking for detective, check your outgoing calls against their little printout of drug dealers numbers and find that 1 out of 3 is a dealer's number.

Good Burger!

Someone sure screwed up at the old Jack In The Box 2nite. These Jumbo Jacks are not only edible, but sublimely good. I'm the sort of guy that people set a bad order in front of, cos' I'm so massively useful to have around. Domino's flagged me and there's 4 large Pizzas there, so I let them know where the late-night and after-hours parties are. Chances are, they knew already, but ya gotta keep the ol' karma rolling along.