Thursday, August 28, 2008

Laughing Locksmith is hurting badly!

My own true love and I were reunited. All misunderstandings forgiven, forgotten!
She had met a friend, and She couldn't wait to have us meet each other.
Her new friend is a woman I considered my baby sister 20 years ago.
This woman was badly hurt tonight, and I'm trying to be patient while the cops do their methodical bit.
But If I'm not heard from for 6 weeks, you may assume I cheerfully went to prison,
for beating to death that which hurt her.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Hey Tam! Y'spose we could maybe go to a movie?

This One?

Hannah Montana

I have grand nieces, So I know more than a 46 year old man should about who Hannah Montana really is. A generation ago there was a former chippendale dancer named Billy Ray Cyrus. Having failed to gain the adulation of million women throngs by dancing in a near or total unclad state, he turned to writing Country Western songs as a way to advance his foul agenda of wooing shallow women. He accomplished this with an annoying composition called Achey Breaky Heart. I did a prodigious feat of electronics to replace this with Harry Nilson's, "You're breaking my heart so fuck you"

Livid that I, a mere commoner, would committ such a brazen act of disrespect against him, He went on to annoy me in the TV show: Doc. Our TV suffered numerous unexplained malfunctions during his scheduled air time.

Satisfied that I had vanquished my tremendously annoying foe, I turned my attention to domestic issues I'd been neglecting. My sister Susan had been gifted with grandchillin's. Hannah, is a red-haired little sprite of some 12 years now, She looks identical to her Mom, Margaret, at that age. She introduced me to the modern Disney Channel, No more reruns of the prized shows of The Wonderful World of Disney, no! My favorite is one called "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody"

But then I kinda liked Hanna Montana, My Grand Niece did for the sembalance in name, so I thought. Wrong, that little minx has subverted an entire generation worse than the pallid writings of wanna-bes like Marx, Engles, Lenin.
I hate to break it to ya, but Societal Upheaval WILL be televised, and boy-howdy it's revolting. A bubblegum girly broke sold-out records in major cities.

Judas What?
Def-Where?
Motley Who?

She's the spawn of the foul one!
Then I found out who she was....

Noooooooo!

She IS the spawn of the foul one....

Writer's block

Actually I have all sorts of things to write but my friends in the blogosphere can write them better.
Go over and check out this from Crystal.
She's my own officially adopted Baby Sister. I just adopted her.
If she were my own sister I may have been in prison for what would have happened to her first husband and his next wife.......

Those reminiscences are over, and she's teaching and being taught by her daughter how to be the kind of people we wish we all could be.

I mean if I do a good deed I usually say, Don't go tellin' nobody! I got a reputation as a badass to uphold.....

Monday, August 18, 2008

I am such a Effing TECHNO STUD!!!

the first picture below is a comparison between the BL-5C battery from my cheap Tracfone, and the BL-5B from my Tmobile Nokia 5300 Xpress Music Phone. I obtained a spare battery for the 5300, but no desk charger. Somewhere I have one for the Tracfones.

kinda hard to put one in another phone huh?

thats the BL-5C at home.......
That's the phone making ready for a Guest Star!
There's the BL-5b propped in by it's big brother and a toothpick.

Another View.......
Didn't take no time at all to charge, I'd have some shots of my 5300, but it were taking the pics.

I have a history of making one phone charge, and use another's batteries.

NOT a babysitter for the faint of heart!

Well I'm officially my Father. I swore I wouldn't become him, but apparent biology and nurture creates a powerful destiny. I spent most of yesterday acting as an unwilling babysitter to a brood of four. The kids are delightful, sharp, open, questioning, curious. The mother and grandmother are coarse and rude. After three or four hours of listening to these two women try to see how many times they could insert the word FUCK into one word, let alone one sentence, I created a ditty for the kids to sing in hopes of throwing a spotlight on the elders' moronic behavior.

Oh! The Fucking Fucker's Fucked to Fuck!
I really can't believe our fucking luck!
It's so fucking jammed and we're fucking stuck!
Cause.... The Fucking Fucker's Fucked to Fuck!

Between that, and teaching them to hit things with a BB gun or an arrow,
Plus general hardcore Democrat abuse, I'm a REEEAAALLLL BBBAAAADDDDDD BBBOOOYYYY!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

I'm over the moon!

I got a comment from Breda on twitter.

And the divine Celtic Goddess, (I say Warrior Queen) Brigid, noticed me!

All I need now is a technical observation, from Roberta X.....

And Tam to kindly drop by, and tear me a new one!

Hey! I'm halfway there!

I don't care if anyone else reads me at all! Really I DO! But if I can have the occasional attention of those four, it somehow validates me. Nowadays I can't even find validation at the hospital parking lot.

Maybe I'm still sensitive over my lost love....
No, I craved those women's attentions, from the moment I knew of their splendid existence.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Must read.....

Brigid

"That Special Part of a Mans......."

I was just replacing a Ruger buttplate with a rubber buttpad. That commercial for a man's male enhancement product came on just as I was finishing up. I was treated to the blinking crocodile coquettery of the spokeswoman as she told me that her product: "Increased the size of that special part of a mans' body..."

For some reason I just couldn't stop laughing!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

last 3 weeks

I've Loved and Lost. Now she's calling every ten minutes, trying to cut my dick off yet again. I'd hate to have to change the phone numbers over this. I mean she's already taken herself away from me, trashed my hopes for happily ever after. what else does she want? Blood?

my twitter link: http://twitter.com/laugh_locksmith

I guess if she doesn't desist, I could re-post a nude pic of her on the internet.
Naw!