I'm being Stalked!

By my Girlfriend's Girlfriend no less. Her actions have practically assured that my girlfriend will be my faithful helpmate, and bear me strong sons and daughters, whether I want her to or not. Now if this woman/child looked like Sharon Stone or even Glenn Close, I'm talking about the stalker here, she'd probable bait her hook, and try again. Unfortunately She's less than palatable, and I guess she figures if she fights hard enough, I'll get disgusted and leave. Scary part is that I'm not even sure I want to keep this woman, my girlfriend, she fights with my friends, and throws ultimatums in my face too often.

UPDATE: The Lesbian Lover of my girlfriend, and stalker of Yours truly is a super deadbeat. All I gotta do is drop a half dollar, and call support enforcement.

The Roomie From HELL!

and she needs to go there! B-word stole my car, and was gone for three whole days. Not only is she vexing me by stealing my car and wasting my gas, she's also screwing over her daughter who is staying over at the domestic violence shelter. My station wagon is the only car that can haul around her 4 children. So she massively damaged all of us, and she's back without the slightest sign of remorse. Lying about where she was, and trying to make it all my fault.

Update: The daughter is living at our house now with her 4 children, that cold, piece of work that is her mother, dropped the kids off right in front of the shelter. They of course got kicked out for that.

oh yeah!

by the way, the girl friend and I are off again. Anytime I don't do exactly as she wants, whether she articulates her wishes to me or not, she immediately finds the most hateful, hurtful thing to do in revenge. She really doesn't want to play that game with me. When it comes to revenge, I could instruct Renaissance Italians. Her going out to the Gay Bar, and finding the most hideous lesbian to play with is tacky, even by my admittedly low standards.

My first impulse is to have a weekend fling with her former roomie. The person she most detests below all others aside from her ex husband.

I'll be the bigger man, and just have a conciliatory threesome with Rosy and Lefty!

Fone Phun

I get nights and weekends for free, and I got the T-Mobile 1000 minute plan. I usually don't have a problem letting people make a call on my phone. When you work fairly close with Law Enforcement types, it's kinda embarrassing to take a call in a cop bar, from someone who is responding to a call from 3 days ago, to tell the person who borrowed your phone, 3 days ago, that they got their shit. Then a couple of cops bucking for detective, check your outgoing calls against their little printout of drug dealers numbers and find that 1 out of 3 is a dealer's number.

Good Burger!

Someone sure screwed up at the old Jack In The Box 2nite. These Jumbo Jacks are not only edible, but sublimely good. I'm the sort of guy that people set a bad order in front of, cos' I'm so massively useful to have around. Domino's flagged me and there's 4 large Pizzas there, so I let them know where the late-night and after-hours parties are. Chances are, they knew already, but ya gotta keep the ol' karma rolling along.

Laughing Locksmith is hurting badly!

My own true love and I were reunited. All misunderstandings forgiven, forgotten!
She had met a friend, and She couldn't wait to have us meet each other.
Her new friend is a woman I considered my baby sister 20 years ago.
This woman was badly hurt tonight, and I'm trying to be patient while the cops do their methodical bit.
But If I'm not heard from for 6 weeks, you may assume I cheerfully went to prison,
for beating to death that which hurt her.

Hey Tam! Y'spose we could maybe go to a movie?

This One?

Hannah Montana

I have grand nieces, So I know more than a 46 year old man should about who Hannah Montana really is. A generation ago there was a former chippendale dancer named Billy Ray Cyrus. Having failed to gain the adulation of million women throngs by dancing in a near or total unclad state, he turned to writing Country Western songs as a way to advance his foul agenda of wooing shallow women. He accomplished this with an annoying composition called Achey Breaky Heart. I did a prodigious feat of electronics to replace this with Harry Nilson's, "You're breaking my heart so fuck you"

Livid that I, a mere commoner, would committ such a brazen act of disrespect against him, He went on to annoy me in the TV show: Doc. Our TV suffered numerous unexplained malfunctions during his scheduled air time.

Satisfied that I had vanquished my tremendously annoying foe, I turned my attention to domestic issues I'd been neglecting. My sister Susan had been gifted with grandchillin's. Hannah, is a red-haired little sprite of some 12 years now, She looks identical to her Mom, Margaret, at that age. She introduced me to the modern Disney Channel, No more reruns of the prized shows of The Wonderful World of Disney, no! My favorite is one called "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody"

But then I kinda liked Hanna Montana, My Grand Niece did for the sembalance in name, so I thought. Wrong, that little minx has subverted an entire generation worse than the pallid writings of wanna-bes like Marx, Engles, Lenin.
I hate to break it to ya, but Societal Upheaval WILL be televised, and boy-howdy it's revolting. A bubblegum girly broke sold-out records in major cities.

Judas What?
Def-Where?
Motley Who?

She's the spawn of the foul one!
Then I found out who she was....

Noooooooo!

She IS the spawn of the foul one....

Writer's block

Actually I have all sorts of things to write but my friends in the blogosphere can write them better.
Go over and check out this from Crystal.
She's my own officially adopted Baby Sister. I just adopted her.
If she were my own sister I may have been in prison for what would have happened to her first husband and his next wife.......

Those reminiscences are over, and she's teaching and being taught by her daughter how to be the kind of people we wish we all could be.

I mean if I do a good deed I usually say, Don't go tellin' nobody! I got a reputation as a badass to uphold.....

I am such a Effing TECHNO STUD!!!

the first picture below is a comparison between the BL-5C battery from my cheap Tracfone, and the BL-5B from my Tmobile Nokia 5300 Xpress Music Phone. I obtained a spare battery for the 5300, but no desk charger. Somewhere I have one for the Tracfones.

kinda hard to put one in another phone huh?

thats the BL-5C at home.......
That's the phone making ready for a Guest Star!
There's the BL-5b propped in by it's big brother and a toothpick.

Another View.......
Didn't take no time at all to charge, I'd have some shots of my 5300, but it were taking the pics.

I have a history of making one phone charge, and use another's batteries.

NOT a babysitter for the faint of heart!

Well I'm officially my Father. I swore I wouldn't become him, but apparent biology and nurture creates a powerful destiny. I spent most of yesterday acting as an unwilling babysitter to a brood of four. The kids are delightful, sharp, open, questioning, curious. The mother and grandmother are coarse and rude. After three or four hours of listening to these two women try to see how many times they could insert the word FUCK into one word, let alone one sentence, I created a ditty for the kids to sing in hopes of throwing a spotlight on the elders' moronic behavior.

Oh! The Fucking Fucker's Fucked to Fuck!
I really can't believe our fucking luck!
It's so fucking jammed and we're fucking stuck!
Cause.... The Fucking Fucker's Fucked to Fuck!

Between that, and teaching them to hit things with a BB gun or an arrow,
Plus general hardcore Democrat abuse, I'm a REEEAAALLLL BBBAAAADDDDDD BBBOOOYYYY!