Mon, 20 Jul 1998 12:11:23 -0500 (CDT)
This message was given to us by a programmer who recently quit a major
Y2K compliance project for the government. He wishes to remain
anonymous. - J.J.
Terms of Surrender
ATTENTION Federal Government (and others as well):
Well, well... After months of us being called names from "chicken
little" to "doomsday alarmists," William Jefferson Clinton has finally
addressed the Y2K problem and the potential damage that could occur on
or before New Year's Day, 2000. This means that you (the government)
have finally admitted your weakness - your Achilles heel. With that
in mind, we think now is the time for all of us to sit down and have
a little chat.
Computer experts have stated that virtually every programmer available
is in use today, and you still need 500,000 to 750,000 programmers to
repair the problems - just here in the US. Since many of these
computers use old languages (FORTRAN, COBOL, BASIC, etc.), you are
under the impression that the original programmers are long gone. It
is this false impression you have that enables us to offer you the
Terms of your Surrender to the American public. But remember, this
olive branch we offer - this agreement, will be pulled off the table
on December 31, 1998. It's your choice. First, a little background:
You figured that since those old mainframes that were built in the
50s, 60s, and 70s they were programmed by people who have long since
retired. At least that's what you said publicly. But the fact is,
many of those same mainframes were upgraded since then. Remember the
Reagan Revolution? Yes, all the young corporate raiders - the ones
that re-tooled the military, and helped build all those modern
skyscrapers. Didn't they also program (and re-program) many of those
machines for an ever expanding government? Where are they?
Admit it. Most of the folks who programmed those mainframes in the
past have not retired, died, or disappeared. Just use the math. Most
of those old mainframe programmers can't be more than 55 today. But
where are they? Who are they?
They are the people who served you breakfast in that greasy spoon
on your way to work this morning. The guy who shined your shoes. That
janitor you saw the other day. That old cab driver who took you to
the airport. The middle aged woman behind the ticket counter. The
guy pumping gas at that rural truck stop. The truck driver himself.
Maybe that right-wing talk show host. Some are in jail for crimes
without victims - crimes against you, the government. The people
you called names for daring to speak out against government
atrocities. The people that have been talking about this potential
problem for almost 20 years. The people who get on the internet and
write letters like this.
By now, a light bulb has probably gone off in your head. "Have we been
set up?", "Hoodwinked?" The answer is, no. You haven't. Yes, we remember
those old languages. Some of us even have the source books. You see,
you made us sit there and "vegetate" in front of that old key-punch
machine or keyboard, and then took all the credit for the new
innovations, while taxing us into involuntary servitude. So, we found
better things to do with our lives. We dropped out. Of course, we
realize now that the future of the world economy and government as we
know it is in peril. You're probably wondering why haven't we told
you this earlier and come to the rescue?
ANSWER: We don't want to.
If crashing the entire world economy is what it takes to bring down
agencies like the IRS, FBI, FEMA, and the EPA then so be it. We know
we can never really beat you by force. You think we don't know that
helping you solve your computer problem would only place heavier
yokes on us down the road? Didn't you consider that went you hired
those "geeks" to fix your problems? Nope. You were so desperate to
fix the problem, you never bother to ask the person, "Say, how do
you feel about big government, anyway? How do your parents feel
about it?" You figured throwing money (our money) at the problem
would be the cure. The only guarantee you have that your Y2K bug
is cured is "our word on it." Now, you're in a panic mode. You're
probably thinking, "Gee, what if one (or more) of those Y2K computer
repair people are really..."
Don't say it. We know what you're thinking. And besides, it's too
late.
Don't even try and blame us for it. There's no conspiracy here.
Nobody "formed an agreement" to screw up your systems. In fact many
of us tried to tell you. But we were written off as alarmists. Smarty
pants. Making excuses for not doing our jobs. You pushed us. All you
wanted was results. Meet the deadline. Meet the deadline. Save
memory space. Worry about the other problems later. By then there
would be some other suckers to enslave. Sorry, but we're all slaved
out.
You're hoping (and looking) for a "silver bullet." Well, there is a
silver bullet. In fact, we ARE the silver bullet. We know the systems.
We know the codes. And with a little time, we can fix the problem.
But in order to gain our assistance, you must first meet the
following terms:
- ---------------------------------------------------
SURRENDER NOW
We want the 16th amendment, and all laws passed thereto, repealed.
This means ALL of Title 26 of the US code. That will include all
those stupid tax and gun laws.
SURRENDER NOW
We want a constitutional amendment passed removing the phrases,
"regulate interstate commerce," and "promote the general welfare"
removed from the constitution. You've perverted their true meaning
for far too long.
SURRENDER NOW
Repeal the 17th amendment. We want our states to have the ability
to recall treasonous Senators whenever we see fit.
SURRENDER NOW
All agencies will be tested for its justifiable existence under the
9th and 10 amendments. It not, all employees of said agency must be
terminated from employment - without compensation. Don't worry,
they'll find other jobs. They can grow the food you've told farmers
not to grow. They can make the natural medicine that the FDA has
regulated out of existence. They can manufacture the products you've
farmed off to third world countries. There will be plenty of work
available. It's called a "free market."
SURRENDER NOW
Give up the land holdings. NOW. No more harassing farmers for
grazing rights. No more wetlands grabbing. Scrap all the
"biodiversity" regions. No more kicking people off "public" land.
If you need land for the military, fine. But that's about it.
Anything else goes private. Period.
SURRENDER NOW
We want you out of our paychecks, out of our churches, out of our
medicine cabinets, out of our homes, out of the U.N. and of course -
OFF the internet!
SURRENDER NOW
Every potential juror in every court must be told they have the
right to not only judge the facts, but the law itself - no matter
what the judge says. They will NOT be held in contempt for making a
decision.
SURRENDER NOW
All political prisoners (US citizens charged with crimes against
government -- IRS, drug, gun, etc.) are to receive amnesty. That's
about 75% of the federal inmate population.
SURRENDER NOW
All federal employees, agents, and officers who have committed
violent crimes against U.S. citizens, who have committed High
Treason, shall be tried according to the law - in state courts.
SURRENDER NOW
Or fix these problems yourself.
We know this is a tall order, and you probably won't agree to any of
it. In fact, you'll probably never admit that you even read this. But
we know you are monitoring our communications. So here's some little
secrets that will help motivate your decision.
Read the news stories about programmers who have quit and are moving
to the hills? And all those naval officers who are quitting? And all
of those pilots? And all of those doctors?
They are among the thousands (probably millions) joining us in our
rural retreats. We've got the bibles, the beans, the bandages, the
bullets -- and the brains. And you can't have them. I'm sure your
federal snitches have given you numerous reports of people who simply
won't file their tax returns next year. They're probably doing the
same thing. Why bother? You'll have no way of counting it, anyway.
Good luck trying to spend billions to fix the Y2K problem with only
millions (or thousands) to pay for it. Nobody told us to do it. We've
made up our own minds. We would rather starve than take your national
ID cards. We would rather die than take a mark on our forehead or
hands. The tobacco companies won't bail you out. The firearms
manufacturers won't bail you out. The Chinese won't bail you out.
And don't be surprised to see people closing out all those IRAs,
401k's and mutual fund accounts by the middle of next year. We'll
need the cash for those last few bits of survival gear. Next year,
you will be on your own.
Don't bother having CNN and the AP lie to us and say that you've
fixed the problem. We won't believe it. We know the programmers. We
are the programmers. We are the silver bullet. And we have absolutely
no desire to repair the problem no matter how many federal reserve
notes you print out. We will watch from afar - from a safe distance.
We will survive. We will say a prayer for you, and the poor slobs
who supported you, as they lose what little grip they have on
civilized life. You will reap what you have sewn. Economics chaos,
food shortages, disease, death and destruction will take over the
cities. You will be powerless to stop it. And we will not fire a
shot to make it happen. Some cities will indeed end in flames -
flames that will light a path to our posterity's freedom. Ugly
scenario, isn't it?
Surrender now. None of us will be entertained by watching you wither
up and die. What a sobering way to ring in the next millennium. But it
won't be our problem. It's is not our duty to help you. We'll have
the unfortunate duty of properly disposing of your rotting corpses.
Agree to our terms, and some of us - a few of us, may agree to help
you in return.
So, think about it. Also think about what happened recently in
Russia, Japan, Indonesia, Pakistan, North Korea, and other countries
now undergoing economic and societal meltdown. Go ask them how well
their computers worked to help save them. Remember who sold them to
them (I'm sure they do). And take a look at history: No great nation
has ever fallen from a force of arms, but from an unwillingless of
its citizenry to support it.
If you would like more insight on this phenomenon, read Atlas
Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. It was written in the 40's. It has sold
more copies than anything but the Bible (including your little Red
Book) and it's still available in major book stores everywhere. For
those of you who can't read (i.e. recent public school graduates),
you can find it on audiocassette.
There will be no IMF around when it happens nor will there be any
taxpayers left to foot the bill. Think about these terms, and make
a decision. But remember, the clock is ticking (no pun intended).
We'll be watching C-SPAN, awaiting your decision,
John Q. Public - We are everywhere.
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