Sunday, September 19, 2010

Thank God for Anne Rice!

And the fact she wrapped up her vampire series ten years back.

I was monitoring an art show. This consists of dispatching large boys with black shirts with the word SECURITY down the front right side.
The leader of these rent a cops, has a close resemblance to WWE Wrestler Randy Orton. I have seen this young lad chill out a domestic violence situation with aplomb and diplomacy that would do credit to an Irish Politician.

Plus the icy stare that would chill out the most determined aggressor.

The only time he trotted out that expression was when someone interrupted our conversation. It was trivial at best, we were discussing whether if Vampires were real, if the military would use their talents as weapons. It was a conversation that usually comes up after drinking is done at a SF Convention. We were riffing on a Lestat conversation where David was telling him to be careful, lest some scientific cabal capture him and subject him to various tests. Lestat thought that would be fun. We spitballed various scenarios. 10,000 Army Vampires depleting Mecca, para-dropping coffins in Afghanistan.

At this point some 40 year old member of Team Edward came over to sing his praises. My hero gave him the trade marked icy look, "Edward SUCKS". If he actually HAD been Randy Orton, I'm almost sure I'd have seen a textbook RKO. I couldn't resist, "Of course Edward Sucks, He's a vampire after all!" I gave the overaged child a glare. "You really shouldn't interrupt your betters when they're chatting about Anne Rice Literature." He started to say something, his mouth opened 3 or 4 times. He then stalked off. My conversation partner looked at me, "Are we in trouble?" "Nah, he's been a professional student for 25 years. He makes a fuss, the college looks at his records, and kicks him to the curb. He was a big Anne Rice fan 18 years ago. He was a commie, he was a hardcore Republican, whatever would get him laid." Dude looked over at the interrupter. "He needs to get out and meet women near his age." "These events, are the closest thing he has to a social life." "He accomplished his purpose" I nodded over to the Emo girl talking to him. "I hope you weren't thinking of asking her out. He's depicting you as the evilest bully. And I'm not getting flattered by him. He's manipulating her emo sensitivities for all he's worth." Dude grabbed a bottle of water off a tray, "More power to the little bastard!" he said, downing the 16 ounces at once. I gave him an interrogating eyebrow. "I was just like him in high-school. If it weren't for two PE classes a day, and 24 hour fitness, I might be just like him still." I let my friend keep the floor. "Sometimes I hate the fact that I had to concentrate on physical fitness to the exclusion of anything else. Sure, I can walk into any bouncer job downtown, and the girls are so damn shallow." "Well we were just tossing around vampire scenarios." He walked over to the nebbish and the emo girl, spoke to the guy for a few seconds, gently squeezed his shoulder, and sauntered back to the desk where we kept vigil over the overpriced examples of indifferent art instruction. "I apologized to him! made him some stature points with her."

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